kindertrauma

Name That Trauma :: Reader Corvid on an Anime Wedding

Posted on By aunt john

Hello to you good folks at Kindertrauma!

When I was young and glued to every T.V. cartoon I could find (this would be the early ‘90s), I saw an anime fantasy film that stuck in my brain. I have never been able to identify it, and I was hoping that you or your readers might be able to help me. Unfortunately I am not sure when the anime itself was made – it may have been from the ‘80s or early ‘90s, probably not earlier than the early ‘80s.

I am also not sure what American channel it aired on (I watched Disney, Nickelodeon, and Cartoon Network, among others). The protagonists were two kids, a boy and a girl, and I believe both were blond. The girl gets kidnapped by a witch and her son (?, or a prince-like character that the witch creates). Actually, it may have been an evil sorcerer, I can't remember the gender! Anyway, there are two scenes that I remember:

1.) The evil prince hypnotizes the young girl into a zombie-like state in order to force her to marry him. In the middle of the wedding ceremony, the boy hero bursts in to stop it. The church doors open to reveal that all the pews are filled with paper cut-outs instead of people, and even the priest is a paper cut-out. When the boy yells at the girl to snap out of it, all the paper cut-outs crumple and flutter to the floor. The boy still can't get the girl to snap out of it – he even grabs her and shakes her.

2.) At the end, the boy hero faces the evil witch/sorcerer. They are on opposite corners of a huge, floating chessboard way up in the air, and the chessboard tips and rocks like a ship. I think the girl is still hypnotized, but once the boy defeats the witch, she wakes up.

I hope someone out there can help me figure this out! By the way, people have suggested the UNICO series as a possible candidate, but it is definitely not from any UNICO film I've seen (despite the giant chessboard and evil witch/sorcerer).

Thanks,

— Corvid

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! SENSKI is back y'all and he is in on F-I-R-E! Kudos to him for realizing that Corvid was referring to the 1974 Japanese version of JACK & THE BEANSTALK.

Kindertrauma Thinghouse

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: The comments are off today so that we can partake in a super THING contest! There are 11 images from your favorite movie and mine, JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING below. Can you put them in the correct order that they occurred in the movie? Whoever gets the most right the fastest will be dubbed THE THING and will win a box of kindertrauma surprises including a multitude of comic books (including I, ZOMBIE and AMERICAN VAMPIRE), DVDs and whatever else we can cram in there.

I'll get you started, picture 11 (the one with the spaceship) comes first so 11=1! Can you do the next ten correctly? Are you THE THING? Good Luck kiddies! Email your answers to kindertrauma@gmail.com!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Annie R. on "NOT THE EXORCIST!"

Posted on By aunt john

I've got one for you. This has been bugging the shit out of me for years. Back in the late ‘70s/early ‘80s, I caught the ass-end of a movie on T.V. Its plot – as far as I was able to tell – concerned a young girl, around the age of twelve. I only remember two scenes. The first depicted said young girl sitting in front of a television, watching what seemed to be a vintage Atari game and talking to her mother. At one point, she asks her mother for a hug. Her back has been turned against both her mother and the viewer throughout the entire scene, but when she turns for her hug she suddenly and quite violently launches herself at her mom, her face now demonic and ugly.

The second scene was the films end and featured the same young girl – her head now shaved and her face back to normal – hugging a guy who looked like Jesus (no I'm not kidding) whilst someone can be heard saying: "She thought we were going to hurt her" or something to that effect.

The film admittedly had an EXORCIST-rip-off feel to it, but was definitely NOT THE EXORCIST. It seemed to have a sci-fi slant to it, although I could be wrong – it was thirty some years ago, after all.

Any idea what the hell it was I saw?

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Special thanks to reader Billy V for putting a toe tag on this one with THE VISITOR!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Dylan Donnie-Duke Dali Lama on a Hit & Run Hound

Posted on By aunt john

Kinderpals,

I have a Name That Trauma and if anyone can help me to find the title I can promise him/her riches beyond imagining! (Which is tragic as they will need to imagine them as I am broke.)

Okay, a possibly made-for-T.V. movie with a GIL GERARD-ish-type male lead. Said male lead gets into a pissing match with a gang of untamed youth.

Traumatic scene:

Untamed youth lure the guy's St. Bernard out into the street and play catch with him while one of their friends plows pell-mell towards the dog in a car. They leave the dog's crumpled corpse on the male lead's front porch where he finds it and cries into its fur.

I had forgotten this until we adopted Homer, a St. Bernard, then it all came flooding back. He was most distressed when I told him about, but said that he felt strangely compelled to see it. So, to satisfy his want for canine horror, I really need to figure this out.

Thanks,

Dylan Donnie-Duke Dali Lama

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Let's all give a big KINDERTRAUMA salute and welcome back hug to SENSKI who came out of hibernation today and solved this one with 1973's OUTRAGE! (We love you SENSKI!)

Traumafessions :: Reader Bluegrasslass on Sapphire & Steel

Posted on By aunt john

Growing up in England the ‘70s-‘80s I was very (un?)lucky to witness many scary moments on TV, but one that always comes up in discussions is SAPPHIRE & STEEL starring DAVID McCALLUM as Steel and JOANNA LUMLEY as Sapphire – a pair of psychic-sci-fi detectives, who would turn up in odd places where strange things had happened. They were usually shown in 2 or 3 parts, and always left you on a creepy cliffhanger – after which I would be sent to bed to terrify myself wondering WHAT was going on!

The two that stuck in my mind were: A couple are downstairs whilst a little baby is in its crib, something happens and the baby turns into grown man! That part ended with a bare leg stepping over the side of the crib and the foot standing on the rug in close-up (I know it doesn't sound that scary, but the atmosphere was so WEIRD and I had no clue as to what it was all about); the second one that freaked me out involved a man walking down a staircase who turns to camera to show he has no face!! Brrrrr … that one still gives me the chills.

Luckily for me, the entire set of series 1 and 2 is available on DVD (Region 1, but fortunately I have a universal DVD player). And as my husband and I sat down to watch the first episode (he having equally scary memories about different parts of the show), Assignment 1, I was gratified to find that it STILL creeps me out and I STILL have no idea what's going on – even the theme tune scares me!

Watch the opening of Assignment 1 HERE (nursery rhymes will never be the same again)!

Dancing With The Devil's Rejects

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey look it's THE DEVIL'S REJECTS the lone ROB ZOMBIE movie you're allowed to like without fear of being ostracized or spat upon! Naturally it's my least favorite of his output on account of I'm trying to be difficult. I think I'd agree that REJECTS is ZOMBIE's most technically efficient film but I've got personal reasons to find it a slightly arduous viewing experience.

First of all, I originally saw it with a friend of mine who is now dead and secondly I really have a hard time watching PRISCILLA BARNES being psychologically tortured. No, I didn't like it when Jack and Larry humiliated poor Terry in the THREE'S COMPANY season six episode "Jack Bares All." And I don't like it any better here. Don't you realize that I love PRISCILLA BARNES and want no harm to come to her? Anybody but P.B.! I wouldn't mind if it was JOYCE DeWITT who was humiliated. Hell, the Firefly family could use her as a combination footstool-human ashtray for all I'd care. As far as I'm concerned that little rat showed her true colors in the classic THREE'S COMPANY season six episode "Janet wigs out"!

Now I said THE DEVIL'S REJECTS was not my favorite ROB ZOMBIE movie but did you know that because I LOVE all of his movies that it is still super excellent in my book? "Urban Plowboy" may not be my favorite season six episode of THREE'S COMPANY but that doesn't make it any less awesome. I just have kind of a hard time relaxing and enjoying myself while I watch THE DEVIL'S REJECTS. I feel like some scary drunk person is putting his arm across my shoulder and laughing all up in my face and I can't tell if it's a genuine laugh or the crazy laugh of someone who is about to punch me in my scooter pie hole. The other night while watching T.D.R., I noticed that my arms were tightly crossed in front of my chest for half of the movie. I don't trust these guys but they fascinate me. I'd like to invite them in but I'm afraid they'll smash my Hummel collection.

One thing that I like about ZOMBIE's movies is the fact that he likes to screw around with the idea of "good guys" and "bad guys" and that there's no morality net. One can accuse him of stripping away the magical supernatural element from HALLOWEEN but I think what stings more is that the notion of order in the universe is kicked to the curb too. Suddenly things are not going to go a character's way just because they play nice and that's a hard pill for viewers to swallow. It pretty much goes against everything we are raised to believe. In fact, civilized society kind of relies on people buying into the idea that if they behave they will be rewarded with safety. What ZOMBIE usually ends up with is an arena uncomfortably like the reality we're unwilling to face: random, justice free and dog eat dog, everything I go to the movies to escape. It's not pleasant but I find it strangely exhilarating all the same, like a citywide anarchy baiting blackout.

BOB-ZOB's gotta lotta nerve if he wants me to hook my cart to the insane, murderous, despicable Firefly family and yet I find that, against my better judgment, I do. How is that possible? It should take more then a few minutes worth of too cute dialogue about tutti-fruity ice cream to get me to snuggle up to these sicko characters. Yet there I go strapping on my tin man outfit to stroll down the blood stained yellow brick road with cackling, Dorothy-witch Baby, scary blasphemous scarecrow Otis and rolly-polly repugnant lion, Captain Spalding. What's my dealio? Even the unsinkable E.G. DAILY gets shot in the forehead after hanging out with these ruffians, why am I here?

Here's the thing, as an adult I understand that what I'm watching is fiction, that the atrocities and the murders shown are not real. What does read as "real" to me are the feelings expressed throughout the rest of the film, the longing for freedom and the commitment to life outside of the tunnel vision of our culture. That's what I find seductive and that's what I take a way. Watching BONNIE AND CLYDE as a kid, BADLANDS as a teen, THELMA AND LOUISE as a young adult and NATURAL BORN KILLERS as a less than young adult, I felt the same pull. I'm not justifying the actions of any of the wanted individuals in the movies mentioned but I can't help smelling the fact that they all wear the same cologne, "eau de fuck you!" I love that scent!

By rights I should be siding with Sheriff Wydell (WILLIAM FORSYTHE) who is on a mission to avenge his brother's death at the hands of the trifling trio. If anyone besides ZOMBIE was orchestrating this show, I'm sure that would be the case but…no. I can't help noticing that Wydell is just as vicious but half as fun. He's a monster too but he finds no joy in being a monster, He's a monster who thinks he's better than monsters, by God, I think he's a tool! That may be more of an emotional assessment than a rational one but that's why I'm here. Am I crazy to want to feel things when I watch a movie, to be pushed out of my comfort zone a bit, to want to experience things without harm that I would not like to experience in life? I take this trip with these psychos because a part of me luxuriates in how much they don't give a shit what you think. Personally, I probably worry too much about stepping on toes so a couple hundred f-bombs tend to let the sun shine in like bullet holes in metal siding.

I try to understand why the end of THE DEVIL'S REJECTS is so moving to me but the reasons I suppose, are infinity pronged. It's sad really, our little monster toys have gone as far as they've been wound to. We are shown snapshots of the psychos in happier times and it's almost insulting all things considered but it falls into the borderline embarrassing sentimentality puddle that R.Z. likes to splash in so I'm sold.

As screwed up as these people are they have forged their own family. They choose to die guns blazing rather than give in to the established order. There is acceptance among the unacceptable and good for them. There are some bonds made in life that will never be understood or accepted by others and it's important to know that they can't be destroyed by others either. Maybe I'll never be able to fully understand my sympathy for these devils but I feel it just the same. Remember, polite society frowned upon Jack, Janet and Terry's lifestyle choice too ya know!

(If you think about it, so much of the horror genre's power hinges on the viewers ability to accept and identify with antiheroes and outcasts. You're only watching half of FRANKENSTEIN if you view the creature as simply a beast and you're missing out on a lot of DRACULA if you are not taken in by the Count's charm.)

I'm sure there are some folks who can hear LYNYRD SKYNYRD's "Freebird" and remain unmoved. Such people should be avoided like the oil spills they are. For me that song will now forever be permanently linked in my head with my poor dead friend just like THE REJECTS always will be. I wonder if my late pal (who bore an uncanny resemblance to RICHARD KLINE) would have lasted longer in this world if rather than trying to force his square peg into a round hole, he had allowed a little violence and vitriol into his heart; ("Take a step that is new…"), I guess I'll never know.

I do know that with THE DEVIL'S REJECTS, ZOMBIE set aflame any and all previous ideas about what a sequel could be and where it could go and that alone recommends it. (It's not everyday you see a neon splatterfest transformed into a dusty road movie after all and ultimately REJECTS does stand alone.) I guess I come and dance on Baby, Otis and Spaulding's floor because as reprehensible as they may be, I still secretly hope that they'll live and any movie that can leave me feeling the exact opposite of the way I'd expect to can come and knock on my door anytime it wants to.

NOTE: One of the all time best endings to a movie EVER can be found HERE

Survival of the Dead

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I was all revved up to see GEORGE ROMERO's new zombie burger SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD at the movie theater on Friday but I got distracted. Actually I think I was just wearing short pants and it was too hot to switch to long pants and too early in the season to expose the public to my zombie stems, so I stayed home. Later that night, at about one in the morning, I discovered that S.O.T.D. was one of those ON DEMAND "same day as theaters" specials offered up by my cable provider and I could watch it in the privacy of my own home while dressed like a deranged hillbilly. I wounded up saving some dough, having full access to my well-stocked fridge and enjoying the company of stinky cats rather than stinky humans…right on! I think I'm going to like this "same day as theaters" set-up a bunch. Will it kill movie theaters? Well movie theaters, in the words of LUNG LEG "You killed me first!"

So what is going on with this ROMERO chap anyway? SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD is a pretty weird movie. Fans that envision the film delivering an expansive apocalyptic view of the further infestation of the planet by zombies will be disappointed at best. On the other hand, if you don't mind ROMERO pulling out a magnifying glass and inspecting a strange little bubble of the mayhem, you might get a kick or two. At this point he does not seem to have neither the budget nor the inclination to keep unfolding the zombie map, so focusing on a tiny tale within his charted territory appears to suit him fine. There's a scene in SURVIVAL that shows a zombie postal worker chained to a mail box delivering the same mail over and over again and I couldn't help but wonder if that's how ROMERO might feel. His latest movie may not eclipse any of his others but it at least it shows him pulling against that chain a bit.

I'm not going to lie to you, SURVIVAL is no great shakes but ROMERO really does deserve credit for shuffling against the herd and fooling around with a couple of game changers. This joint is so myopic and audience ambivilant that it feels like ROMERO by way of JOHN SAYLES. In fact, if you can imagine the living dead invading THE SECRET OF ROAN INISH and MATEWAN you might get an idea of how unusual the overall tone is. It should be said that some of the visuals really shine, I was taken aback by an arresting shot of some animated heads propped up on a row of sticks and a glorious/bizarre PATTI SMITH looking zombie galloping on a horse while skeletal branches wave overhead. It's an overall crisp looking film that takes full advantage of the damp vibrant verdure that surrounds its autumnal island enviroment. It's a nice change of pallette after a career of mostly gritty visuals (or maybe my HD TV just frickin' rocks!!!)

The problem is that the story involving two rival families with opposing views on how to face the undead does not satisfy as much as the ones that satellite it and that the specter of death, the battery of a living dead movie really, is nowhere to be found. The zombies here may as well be robots; they're so clean and acceptable and they seem to putter around like firecrackers waiting to be lit and nothing more. Luckily there's an ace up ROMERO's sleeve named ALAN VAN SPRANG who SPRANG my VAN ALAN every time he was on screen. His character Sarge Crockett (who we got glimpse of in DIARY OF THE DEAD) is a charismatic throwback to the "scoundrel with a soul" archetypes of yesteryear. He carries the film to such a degree that it wilts when he's not present and his benching during the film's climax leaves it kind of flat.

I don't blame ROMERO, an older gentleman himself, for focusing on the misguided wrinkly patriarchs whose stubborn refusal to budge destroys everything that they hold dear. It's a nifty, maybe too forced parable for the inanities of war (Happy Memorial Day!) that probably inspired the entire film to begin with. Still, it's rather a wet blanket considering the stronger more enticing routes that he bypasses to get to his final shot. I was left feeling strangely similar to the way I did after watching THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE, that I had just seen a passable "C" movie worth watching for one lone "A" performance.

It will surprise exactly nobody that SURVIVAL ends with the threat of yet another entry in the series soon to come. If VAN SPRANG is signed on then frankly, so am I. Here's to hoping that in that next venture ROMERO will remember to invite that good old, worm-infested Grim Reaper too. A zombie movie that neglects to revel in decomposition is just begging to leave its target audience cold.

Traumafessions :: Reader Jay R. on Pet Sematary, IT, Silver Bullet & Sleepwalkers

Posted on By aunt john

My first traumafession was a shining example of what would ultimately lay the groundwork for my lifelong affair with the macabre and grotesque side of cinema. RAWHEAD REX was an obscure/ridiculous example of irrational fears that ultimately does not stand the test of time, however the works of STEPHEN KING namely PET SEMATARY, IT, SILVER BULLET and, to a lesser extent, SLEEPWALKERS.

Shall we begin?

First off the one thing we all must take into account is this I saw all of these movies before I hit the ripe old age of eight (it amazes me how liberal my parents were), but I still contend that for the most part these movies still retain their scare factor. The reason why I believe these movies were so effective is that in some way shape or form they all share in common either young people as heroes or villains and the fact that they flesh out the characters and how they react to the circumstances surrounding a paranormal circumstance, which adds to the believability of the events taking place. And they all share in common this; for the most part the antagonist is/was viewed as a trusted or loved pillar of the community.

STEPHEN KING is undoubtedly a master of horror however I would say he has cornered the market on what I would call dramatic horror, wherein the protagonist are not simply meat puppets being dangled over a flame until the inevitable flame roast them for our amusement no they are much more than that and that is what makes these films stand the test of time.

These movies all scared the hell out of me as a child because of the monsters involved, but as a 23-year-old adult they unnerve me because of the realization that, for the most part, the evil often takes the form of an individual that we take great trust in (i.e., a minister, that cute guy next door, your child, or a very creepy clown.) Yes, in their true form these monstrosities are sure to turn the driest pair of pajamas into something resembling the Mississippi River after a recent down pour. These movies play on the one assumption that we all like to hold onto and that is we can trust the people who are closest to us, and they all flip that notion on its head.

The funny thing is my parents who have been the best parents ever, probably watched most of these movies with me and I thank them for that because these movies taught me that yes love the ones who are closest to us, but never forget that sometimes even they may be the ones we should watch the closest (especially if they can turn into giant demonic spiders, werewolves, cat monsters or come back to life after being buried in an Indian burial ground.)

On a final note I would say that my childhood was a blur for the most part, but these movies and other film adaptations definitely stood as pillars amongst many good and bad childhood memories.

UNK SEZ: Awesome images above were found HERE and HERE!

Name That Trauma/Traumafessions :: Reader Ashley M. on a Scary Sheep & Spencer's Gifts

Posted on By aunt john

Okay, today I had a total flashback of a childhood terror. It was a commercial involving a scary, beat-up looking sheep. At first I thought it was one of those mattress commercials, but the sheep was totally different. It was (as I remember) the size of a grown man, walked on two legs, and looked really injured and beaten up (I'm not sure if it was bloody, but it may have been). All that I remember is that it terrified me to no end, and I ran crying from the room.

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! The sheep in question stems from this Spyro the Dragon spot:

My other great trauma came in the form of a shopping mall store. That store would be Spencer's (a place that many in my gang of friends, including myself, refer to as "the holy land" due to the fact that you can go into the store and by a bong, facial piercings, sexual paraphernalia, and CDs without walking more than ten steps in any direction), but before it was "the holy land" it was the "area of sudden bowel evacuation."

The Spencer's in our mall was (and still is) located directly across from Build-a-Bear workshop. In my childhood, Spencer's was known for one thing; the huge Crypt Keeper display in the front window. Now, this stupid statue was about a hundred times scarier than the Crypt Keeper from T.V. It had the single most pants-shittingly terrifying expression on its face. It wasn't cartoonish or even menacing. It simply scowled at you, disgusted, as if you sickened it. It was the same look that you were given by every adult in the vicinity when you did something unacceptable. I've even managed to locate a picture.

I didn't enter an entire wing of that mall with my eyes open until I was almost ten years old, when they finally decided that displaying a horror icon across from a children's store probably wasn't the best of ideas.