kindertrauma

Traumafessions :: Reader Kirsty D. on Making Contact (a.k.a. Joey)

Posted on By aunt john

are you there carol anne? it's me joey!

I was wondering if there were any traumafessions yet about MAKING CONTACT (a.k.a. JOEY)?

There was just something about that dusty dummy opening its eyes that disturbed me when I saw it as a kid. I remember when I was 13, my parents had my grandparents' tapes after their house was burned down. We were watching one of the movies, I didn't know what it was, and it ended up being this movie. I forgot all about it until that scene when the dummy comes to life. At that point I jumped out of my skin.


(AUNT JOHN SEZ: The offending dummy comes in around the 5:35 mark. Also, who's JOEY's interior designer? I want those RETURN OF THE JEDI sheets!)

Then there was this ending which was freaky:

I've been having dreams about a giant head, and I think this may have something to do with it. It always disturbed me when the dummy burnt to death at the end too.

dummy

Lake Mungo

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Just when I thought I was too jaded to appreciate the sub-genre of faux-reality horror, in slinks the not very creepy sounding but very creepy indeed, LAKE MUNGO. My little MUNGO is such a well-crafted film that its unauthentic nature becomes absolutely irrelevant. Seriously, this is one of the best documentaries I have ever seen, who cares if it's not real? Who needs "real" anyway? Art has been cleaning up reality's mess since the beginning of time. Feel free to quote me on this; art is reality's janitor. Why am I talking about art? Because that's what this MUNGO film is, that's why.

I blame part of my abhorrence towards PARANORMAL ACTIVITY on envious outrage. How dare that film dispense creep-cookies to everyone who stood in line except me? I like to get spooked too ya' know. Well, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, I don't need you or your stinkin' creep-cookies, I found a less shaky fake-y with characters deeper than a Petri dish, a story that took more than five minutes to conjure and egads, something to say besides "boo!" and yea, it deigned to feed even little old me some delicious creep-cookies. In fact, it pretty much shoveled creep cookies down my throat and I liked it…I liked it! I liked it like Carrie White's mama likes whiskey breath.

LAKE MUNGO takes the mockumentary approach (think CURSE OF THE BLAIR WITCH rather than THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT) while telling the tale of the Palmer family (DAVID LYNCH fans, that surname is no accident!) who have lost their daughter to a drowning in the lake of the film's title. Through interviews and the presentation of assorted memorabilia we get an intimate front row seat as the family's surviving members concurrently fight to accept their loss, speculate that her spirit may still remain and discover ugly truths about the deceased. MUNGO goes back and forth suggesting that the supernatural may or may not be involved but it hardly matters, as the Palmers are truly haunted in every other aspect. In fact, the film's coda seems to be, "You don't have to make this crap up…look around you!"

This is the type of rare horror film that actually has the cajones mas grandes to look death in the eye. Whatever unseen entity may be shadowing the Palmers, the family has much more profound things to express to it than, "Get off my lawn!" When we are made privy through diary entries to the dead daughter's precognition that something is getting closer and that she may be circling life's drain, the atmosphere literally floods with existential dread. Ultimately, first time director JOEL ANDERSON understands that a picture is worth a thousand words and we are shown one image near the film's close that is such a doozy that all thousand of those words is "Yikes!"

Usually the biggest hurdle for a film that portends to be real to jump is the acting, nothing bursts the reality bubble faster than an over enthusiastic ad libber and plot progressing behavior that simply doesn't ring true. MUNGO's cast skates by these issues with ease, nobody is less than authentic and ma and pa Palmer are pretty damn astounding in their shell-shocked lethargy. Now, to be honest there are several pieces to the overall puzzle that do not fit in as smoothly as the rest, but by the time the credits roll the overall sensation it leaves you with overpowers any quibbles. I don't want to curse this movie with too much praise but if you're looking for a highly original ghost tale and you appreciate your scares whispered in your ear quietly rather than dumped in your lap like a plate of spaghetti this is for you.

LAKE MUNGO has been selected as part of this year's AFTER DARK HORRORFEST and I recommend you go see it if you can. Being that it deals with accepting tragic loss rather than posturing and preserving one's haul, I doubt it will find as wide an audience as PARANORMAL ACTIVITY did; but yeah, I'm saying that it's a far superior, vastly more satisfying film. You may not feel an affinity with all of the sorrow and grief on display, but isn't it the biggest creep-cookie of all to know that inevitably someday you will?

Traumafessions :: Reader Juturne on Munchers: A Fable

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I need to mention the most horribly disturbing claymation dental hygiene film they made us watch at school.

I have hunted it down and found it here…

Just wait until you see Jack Sweet… I swear this scarred me for life. Even worse I LOVE animation and manga, etc. It's practically all I watch and read as an adult but I've had the worst fear of claymation ever since those days…. I can't even watch the old Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman stop motion X-Mas specials to this day. In fact, you might want to add those to your list as well. They're quite creepy too…

I guess the only positive is that I have lovely teeth today…. but at what mental cost????

I'm very happy to have found you and to get this off of my chest.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Andrew D. on a Dirty Deal With the Devil

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Have a trauma question.

O.K., love your sight by the way, it has helped me in the past.

O.K., so I think this was a PBS T.V. movie, most likely at least. Anyway, it takes place around the 1800s or so. This guy (possibly a soldier) has a meeting with the Devil while walking down the road. The Devil gives him this coat which is magical; it will never run out of money. The catch is the man must not take a bath, shave, trim his nails, etc. for a year or maybe more.

At first he parties and has the time of his life. But soon as he gets smelly he is forced to go stay in barns, etc. At this one farmhouse he helps out the owner with money in exchange for letting him stay there. The farmer promises him his daughter in marriage. He makes her a ring out of his nail trimmings. In the end he wins the contest, the Devil cleans him and he marries the girl.

Any help? I saw it probably 15 or more years ago.

UNK SEZ: Andrew, my hair stood on end when I read your Name That Trauma because I came across this same production on PBS at roughly the same time. You remembered a lot more concrete details than I did, but the time period and the deal with the devil rang a bell with me. I had too little to go on myself but with your added information, it seems I have solved this mystery for both of us!

It's called BEARSKIN, OR THE MAN WHO DIDN'T WASH FOR SEVEN YEARS. It's based on a story by THE BROTHERS GRIMM and it's a short film (20 min.) that was frequently shown in classrooms and on PBS. Even better, I found a clip that brought the memories flooding back which you can see below.

Thanks Andrew, I would never have found this without you!

Piranha (1978)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

On the surface, 1978's PIRANHA may look like a throw away JAWS rip off but thanks to the talents involved, it's a B-movie masterstroke that lovingly recalls the monster movie heyday of the fifties. I have fond memories of PIRANHA's television premiere and the spirited frenzy of conversation it spawned at the elementary school bus stop the next day. With a theatrical remake around the corner (a cable version was made in 1995) directed by HIGH TENSION's ALEXANDRE AJA and presented in 3-D, I think it's high time we take a look back and examine just what made this ROGER CORMAN produced classic so special…

JOE DANTE

In 1978, director JOE DANTE was in peak form and poised to deliver a string of hits including THE HOWLING, GREMLINS and undoubtedly the most imaginative segment of TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE. His collage of cartoon humor, twisted gore and blatant self-awareness are commonplace today, but only because DANTE paved the way.

JOHN SAYLES

He would later move on to become Oscar bait (LONE STAR, PASSION FISH) but thank God he spent some time in the trenches and gifted B-movie fans the likes of ALLIGATOR, BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS and his two collaborations with DANTE, THE HOWLING and PIRANHA.

PINO DONAGGIO

Can you ask for a better composer then the guy who did CARRIE? (Not to mention DRESSED TO KILL, DON'T LOOK NOW and TOURIST TRAP among countless others.) I know I can't.

LOVABLE HEROES

A drunk (BRADFORD DILLMAN of BUG and THE MEPHISTO WALTZ) and a snoopy reporter (HEATHER MENZIES from SSSSSSS), who let's face it, cause the entire piranha problem themselves by foolishly emptying a pool at a research facility. Extra props for the quickest "How do you do? Let's screw!" this side of JOHN CARPENTER's THE FOG.

INDELIBLE SCENES

Years of psychotherapy are predicted for this kid who watches helplessly as his dad becomes fish food and what about that old guy whose feet get eaten off?

KINDERTRAUMA IN ACTION

That drunk's kid is rightfully hydrophobic but that doesn't stop her from jumping on an inflatable raft and saving her favorite camp counselor (frequent DANTE player BELINDA BALASKI.) Way to overcome your fears Suzie!

KEVIN McCARTHY

Here's a tip, if KEVIN McCARTHY (INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS ‘56) warns you about something, no matter how outlandish it sounds, BELIEVE HIM.

BARBARA STEELE

I'll let this legend's eyes do the talking.

PAUL BARTEL

I know he's supposed to be a jerk in this but who can hate the one and only PAUL BARTEL?

DICK MILLER

What JOE DANTE movie would be complete without this guy?

THAT WEIRD SOUND THE PIRANHA MAKE

Forget the JAWS theme, I'm all about the crazy whirly whirl sound that tells you that you are currently being chomped on by a school of killer PIRANHA!

LATE SEVENTIES FASHION

Really? People walked around like this?

AND FINALLY THIS GUY…

So many questions: Who is he? What does he know? When does he get his own movie? Where can I buy one? Can I feed him after midnight?

Traumafessions :: Crankenstein of Cranky Town on Pinocchio

Posted on By aunt john

Hey Kindertrauma, haven't had anything good to report to you in awhile, but the other day during my humanities class I take at City College S.F., I remembered something horrible while we watched PINOCCHIO.

Most of the horrors I've experienced for some reason branch out from that film although I've never seen the connection ‘till now and I'll just mention one of them.

There is a square quilt blanket PINOCCHIO sleeps with that I had as a child, which reminded me of something awful. After a dinner where I had spaghetti and meatballs and a cake and a bunch of other crap I can't remember, I went to bed and had a terrible nightmare. I dreamt that I was eating the hugest strawberry chocolate chip cake (like a mountain-sized cake) and no matter what happened I couldn't finish it.

While I was half asleep all I can remember was puking all over the quilt as I slept; puke and go back to sleep; puke some more. I slept under a mountain of my own puke and for some reason didn't wake up until morning, maybe it was so heavy I couldn't move and no one could help me, even though my sister was asleep in the same room.

Christ who would want to help me?

I have successfully avoided seeing PINOCCHIO since I was 3 or 4 years old when it horrified me in the theater and all the anxieties that I felt throughout my life were harnessed into reality and I forgot how dark and sinister most of that film was.

Then I wondered if kids today would not be so sheltered from reality then possibly they could learn something, either way it's an important film. The reason we watched it during Humanities class was because my brilliant teacher saw a connection between Jesus and PINOCCHIO (both die and become resurrected, "to save one's own life you must lose it.")

Check it out again with this frame of mind and see what you get, it could also be applied to BRITNEY SPEARS puppet-like existence as well.

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Thanks for checking in Crankenstein of CRANKY TOWN. If it's any consolation, the Vicar of VHS shares a somewhat similar aversion to this cautionary tale about a piece of wood who's turned into a boy and then turned into a donkey before finally being turned back into a boy.

Traumafessions :: Reader D. on Alfred Hitchcock Presents ep. "Final Escape"

Posted on By aunt john

I love your site!

It brought back a flood of scary T.V./movie memories, particularly that my sister and I were obsessed with watching ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS on Sunday nights in the mid-‘80s, followed (or preceded) by STEVEN SPIELBERG's AMAZING STORIES which were often VERY disturbing and kept us up at night.

There was one ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS called "Final Escape" that still creeps us out to this day. It was about a rich, mean woman who gets sent to jail and where she strikes a deal with the elderly prison coroner. She promises to pay for his expensive eye surgery (I think) if he buries her with the next inmate who dies and then comes back to dig her up. They agree that the next time the death bell tolls she will climb into the casket and wait for him to come and get her after the burial.

Before long, the bell tolls, she sneaks into the morgue area and gets into the casket and gets buried in the prison graveyard. She waits and waits and waits, but the prison coroner doesn't come. After a while, she lights a match and finds herself lying next to the DEAD coroner!!!! Zoom out to hearing screams coming from the ground.

Shivers!!!

Does anyone else remember this series/episode?

Keep up the good work!!

D.

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Thanks D. for the sweet traumafession! While I don't recall that particular episode, I did manage to locate a clip from the '60s ALFRED HITCHCOCK HOUR on which the plot of the '80s re-hash is based: