kindertrauma random header image

Name That Movie! (Hosted by Matt Sunshine)

August 11th, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 37 Comments

Hey, it’s Freaky Friday and me and Matt Sunshine Have switched places! Matt knows all the answers and I know none! How many of these mystery film images kindly provided by Matt Sunshine can you identify?

→ 37 CommentsTags: Kindertrauma Funhouse

Name That Trauma:: Maria M. on a Shocking Cartoon

August 9th, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 8 Comments

Hello. I am from Spain and I just discovered you. I was looking up the hot sauce scene from SpongeBob and found a trauma confession about it. I do not believe people got scared about it. I thought it was funny.

However there was something I was scared about when I was a little girl. I do not remember which cartoon it was in.

It was the early 1990’s and I was on a vacation to America with my parents. We stayed at hotel in Massachusetts and I wanted to watch cartoons. So I turned on Nickelodeon. At the time, I believe it was America only.

They were showing a cartoon about a cute animal with cute voice but I did not understand a lot of it because it was all in English. The episode I watched had him trying not to touch a button. As time passes, he can not take it any more and touches it. At first nothing happened but then he had his eyes closed and opened them to reveal hideous red spiral eyes. Accompanying it was noise that sounded like a burst of electricity if someone interpreted it on synthesizer.

When I saw his eyes, I screamed and turned the channel. I did not have nightmares but I remember thinking Massachusetts was little creepy for the rest of the stay. I also felt very sad for the poor animal because he looked very cute and I wondered what kind of person would do that thing to him. I’m 29 now and I hope it won’t be that scary as I remember it to be.

-Maria M.

→ 8 CommentsTags: Name That Trauma!

Traumafession:: Miyamoto Y. on Fatal Frame and Bimbo’s Initiation

August 7th, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 1 Comment

Hi there! I am Miyamoto from Japan and a friend in the US told me about this site. I must say, there’s a lot of good stuff on here! Glad you know about Matango and “Kinderpal Bigwig on Pigmon” was f*cking funny! I used to watch Ultraman reruns as a kid here in the country the show originated, and I can’t believe people were freaked out by Pigmon. I always found him stupid. (“He spoke Monster.” I CANNOT BREATHE)

Growing up in Japan I don’t believe it that nothing scared me, as a child and now. I was always fearless and the closest I was to ever being scared was when a bat flew in my window when I was 11.

I think I played some games that scared me, though! Fatal Frame was one of them. But it wasn’t a lasting trauma.

Ha Ha, It’s Burl!’s post was very hilarious, especially “the Maurice Sendak bedroom forest” (excuse me while I develop asthma).

I recommend that Unk and John watch “Bimbo’s Initiation“, that’s my Kindertrauma Recommendation for today! I see you covered “Pigs is Pigs” which was another inspiration.

See you around!

→ 1 CommentTags: Traumafessions

Sunday Streaming:: Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive (1977) (Via Viewster)

August 6th, 2017 by unkle lancifer · No Comments

TOBE HOOPER’s EATEN ALIVE knows how to creep me out. The opening music alone is a swirling miasma of otherworldly chirps and moans that can turn any hour of the day into half past midnight. I know some folks have a hard time digesting its fluorescent fever dream atmosphere after THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE’s gritty and grounded approach but I love the contrast. It’s like the difference between ROB ZOMBIE’s neon hallucination HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES and his earthy neo-western THE DEVIL’S REJECTS but in reverse. What I love most about EATEN ALIVE though is HOOPER’s mad genius decision to film the movie entirely on a soundstage complete with an indoor pool masquerading as a swamp. The end result is that everything that occurs has a surreal and artificial aura about it. I’m guessing the prevalent tone of vague falseness is enough to turn some viewers off but I love it. It feels like old Hollywood mixed with that terrible (or relieving) moment in a nightmare when you realize you’re not in reality. It’s eerie, strange and bonkers and I wrote a longer review probably using many of the same adjectives HERE. More importantly, EATEN ALIVE is available to watch for free over at this joint that calls itself VIEWSTER right over HERE. If you’re in the mood to inject some raving mad lunacy into your day, it’ll certainly do the trick.

→ No CommentsTags: Sunday Streaming

Name That TV Guide Ad! (Featuring: Are You in the House Alone? A TV Movie Compendium: 1964-1999 Edited by Amanda Reyes)

August 4th, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 22 Comments

NOTE: Today’s images come courtesy of our dear chum, TV movie historian extraordinaire Amanda Reyes. Amanda’s new book ARE YOU IN THE HOUSE ALONE? A TV MOVIE COMPENDIUM: 1964-1999 is available now and that strange weeping noise you can’t identify at night is probably your bookshelf begging for it. This book is the ultimate tribute to the TV movies that have had such a profound effect on our psyches and I’m not just saying that because I contributed a few pieces (You know I had to call out SALEM’S LOT for delivering me many a sleepless night). This book is jammed packed with TV movie goodness from the legendary to the obscure and Amanda’s retrospective to the small screen horror films of the late, great WES CRAVEN is worth the price alone. Buy this beauty HERE and plan to be fully occupied with essays, reviews and plenty of cool TV GUIDE ads for a long while.

→ 22 CommentsTags: Amanda By Night · Kindertrauma Funhouse

Name That Trauma:: Bridget N. on a Creepy Cult

August 3rd, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 7 Comments

Hi! My brother and I have been trying to search for an older movie that scared the crap out of us when we were children. We both remember it might have been made anytime between the 70’s to the early 90’s. It was about two guys travelling by bus in a foreign country and they get stranded in a small poor village. All the villagers are devil worshippers and the two guys witness a sacrifice and ritual one night and are terrified. One of them, we think, was captured and tortured. That is all we remember, but we would really like to find out what that movie may be! Any ideas?? *Note this movie is NOT Race With the Devil or Midnight.

→ 7 CommentsTags: Name That Trauma!

Blu-ray Review:: Madhouse (1981) (Arrow Video)

August 2nd, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 3 Comments

I don’t always upgrade from DVD to Blu-ray but when I do, it’s for a movie that I especially enjoy on a visual level. MADHOUSE is just such a film. I’ve already fawned all over this underrated gem way back HERE so I’ll try not to repeat myself by focusing on this particular release from the always impressing folks at ARROW VIDEO. Not surprisingly, the movie (and its star TRISH EVERLY) looks more gorgeous than ever before thanks to a brand new restoration from the original camera negative (I usually don’t remark much on something as superficial as an actress’s looks but EVERLY is the most beautiful lady I ever did see and her character Julia should be sainted for the sweet way she delivers bad news to deaf children). My eyes can barely handle all of this candy: MADHOUSE’s nights are darker, its stain glass windows shine brighter and suddenly tiny details I’ve missed before are popping up like daisies.

All of this beauty comes to a head in the film’s final scene; the strings of glowing Christmas lights at Julia’s gruesome birthday party look positively stunning and suddenly I’m spying a shelf of creepy baby dolls that I’ve somehow never noticed before. This is why I love MADHOUSE so much; it really digs the juxtaposition of beauty and ugliness, the sacred and the profane, the cheery and the dismal. Plus I think it has something interesting to say about how organized religion may not always be rooting for the righteous team and how family ties can be excruciatingly difficult to sever. It rather neatly falls into the Kindertrauma spectrum since Julia was cruelly abused in her youth and no matter how she tries to spin a positive life for herself, that original bite continues to gnaw. I can almost see Julia’s plagued twin sister Mary as a less scary precursor to PET SEMATARY’s twisted Zelda as she is able to conjure up feelings of familial guilt and pity along with the terror.

Plus there’s a commentary from the THE HYSTERIA CONTINUES! I usually shy away from commentaries because I hate to demystify a favorite film but this particular commentary was more like watching the movie with fellow horror fan friends. Actually, I was left with a strong feeling of camaraderie because they went and mentioned our old pal Amanda (buy her book HERE!), referenced my current new wave obsession CHINA CRISIS and spent time discussing their distaste for onscreen violence towards animals and their relief that MADHOUSE’s dog death is clearly realized through puppetry. I’ve read they’ll also be providing the commentary for ARROW’s upcoming release of THE SLAYER and now I’m looking forward to that even more (if that’s possible).

There is also an anecdotal interview with charming character actress EDITH IVEY (who went on to work with DAVID FINCHER), cinematographer ROBERTO D’ETTORRE PIAZZOLI who delivered MADHOUSE’s sleek, glossy look and an informative short featuring producer/director OVIDIO G. ASSONTIS who reveals his three main inspirations were THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE-DAME, THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI and THE SHINING. In addition, there’s an alternate opening sporting OVIDIO’s preferred title, THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL. I do seem to appreciate this movie more than some of its creators (it’s certainly not PIAZZOLI’s cup of tea) but that’s what being a fanatic is all about.

And finally I have to give a special shout out to MARC SCHOENBACH’s fetching new cover artwork! It’s usually a fool’s errand to try to improve upon the classic eighties poster art that we’ve all grown fond of but somehow he did it. Am I just a sucker for dark silhouettes with glowing eyes? I love this illustration! It reminds me of the poster art for THE CHILD (1977) or CHILLERS (1987). If MADHOUSE had this artwork on its VHS sleeve, I’m sure it would have been difficult to keep on the video store shelves. It really does do a superior job of conveying the movie’s mood over previous attempts. I’m so glad I indulged myself with this ultimate upgrade. Now I can visit my lovely Southern Gothic MADHOUSE in its best possible condition whenever I like.

→ 3 CommentsTags: Blu-ray Review · General Horror

Dark Shadows (The Revival 1991) shouldn’t have been cancelled! By Mickster

August 1st, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 2 Comments

UNK SEZ: Hey, it’s our old pal Mickster! She’s got some viewing advice and an axe to grind concerning a show she loved getting the hook! Take it away, Mickster

MICKSTER: Twenty-six years ago, a show was canceled before being given a fair shake. Had the Internet, as we know it, existed at the time, no doubt people would have expressed their outrage at NBC for letting this gem go far too soon. I remember seeing the promos for the show and being thrilled because I felt cheated that I missed the original show. Darn being born too late! My older siblings spoke of it fondly. I was lucky enough to catch House of Dark Shadows on cable when I was about ten.

The revival of Dark Shadows did not disappoint me, and a big reason for that was Dan Curtis, who created the original show, produced it. The atmosphere and acting were spot-on. I will share a few of my favorite things about the show, and if you haven’t seen it, I strongly suggest you head over to Hulu and watch all 12 episodes.

#1-Ben Cross as Barnabus Collins-Ben Cross had some big shoes to fill when taking on the role of Barnabus since Jonathan Frid made the role iconic. However, I found Cross’s version to have the sex appeal that Frid lacked. I could completely understand all the women of Collinsport, including straight-laced Dr. Julia Hoffman, going wild over him. Dear Barnabus, I suggest picking victims at least a couple of towns over so not to throw suspicion in your direction.

#2 Barbara Steele as Dr. Julia Hoffman-Barbara Steele is very familiar to fans of the horror genre. She portrayed Dr. Hoffman as strong-willed and intelligent. She didn’t allow herself to be intimidated by Barnabus, but at the same time, she showed vulnerability when she developed feelings for him. Dear Dr. Hoffman, Betraying a vampire is NOT good for your health!

#3 Joseph Gordon-Levitt as David Collins-A very young Joseph Gordon-Levitt displayed his acting chops early with his disturbed portrayal of David Collins. He was the ultimate “creepy kid” who scared away all his governesses before Victoria Winters came to Collinwood. Dear Governesses of Young Master Collins, Don’t climb into your bed without checking it thoroughly first…you’re welcome!

#4 Jim Fyfe as Willie Loomis-Now I adored John Karlen as Willie Loomis, but Jim Fyfe just melted my heart. I am a southern girl so I will say, “Bless his heart!” It is true that it is his fault that Barnabus was freed from his vault to wreak havoc on the people of Collinsport, but dang it, his simple-mindedness made me feel bad for him. Dearest Willie, When Barnabus yells, “WILLIE!” Run like hell because he is about to pound the crap out of you.

#5 Joanna Going as Victoria Winters-Now, I feel Joanna Going’s Victoria Winters was far superior to the original. I enjoyed her as a wide-eyed innocent thrust into the chaos of Collinwood in the present and then the past. She made it all believable. Dear Victoria Winters, You look EXACTLY like the portrait of Josette du Pres. Coincidence? I think not!

#6 Lysette Anthony as Angelique-Okay, Lysette Anthony’s Angelique was the epitome of the woman scorned. Unfortunately for Barnabus, she was a woman scorned with supernatural abilities. Dear Barnabus, You should have kept your pants on all those years ago! It became Fatal Attraction circa 1790!

#7 Time Travel-I love time travel, and on Dark Shadows, the time travel was most effective. Victoria Winters was thrown back in time when a séance to contact Sarah Collins (sister of Barnabus) went terribly wrong. Victoria found herself in 1790. Accusations of witchcraft soon plagued Victoria, and her life was in danger. The viewer also was able to witness the events leading up to Barnabus’s transformation into a vampire. Dear Victoria Winters, Hide your clothing labels as the symbols for laundering may be misconstrue as signs of the Devil by a nosy bitch, um, I mean Collins family member.


UNK SEZ: Thanks for the tip Mickster! It looks like I’ve got some watching to do. Kids, as Mickster said above, the DARK SHADOWS revival is available on HULU for free! Watch it HERE before it disappears in a puff of smoke!

→ 2 CommentsTags: Kinder Loves Mickster!

Sunday Streaming: Madman (1982) (Via Tubi TV)

July 30th, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 5 Comments

I should probably be forcing myself to check out one of the many recent horror movies I haven’t caught up with yet but instead I’m going to watch MADMAN for the millionth time. It’s the perfect time of year for a summer slasher movie especially when that summer slasher movie completely ignores the existence of the sun by taking place exclusively at night and features characters dressed as if it were the dead of winter (when they’re not in a hot tub). What says summer more than howling winds, rustling dead leaves, corduroy and flannel? I’m thinking the world of MADMAN is a perfect world- because it’s a world where summer doesn’t exist. Putting aside its strange, BOOGENS-esque climate, MADMAN never fails to satisfy all of my horror needs. Once upon a time I used to wish for a sequel but now I know it’s better off with its mythology unmarred and its low budget purity intact. This movie has everything you could want in a horror movie; a truly formidable maniac, victims who make questionable survival choices, multiple grisly deaths and a jarring synth score complimented by a legendary theme song that should have been a number one pop hit across the country. And I have to say, the cat-and-mouse stalking scenes are still pretty darn effective. Sure, it has flaws but they are enjoyable flaws. Anyway, MADMAN is available to watch on Tubi TV for free anytime you like. If you haven’t seen it before, be more adventurous than myself and check it out HERE.

→ 5 CommentsTags: Stream Warriors · Streaming Alert! · Sunday Streaming

Name That Movie on Comet TV!

July 28th, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 6 Comments

I hope you all have been doing your homework and watching plenty of COMET TV! Below are ten images from ten movies recently shown on COMET TV. How many can you identify? The stakes are high today because one lucky player will be randomly picked to win a fabulous secret prize from COMET TV!

→ 6 CommentsTags: Kindertrauma Funhouse