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Traumafession:: Melody M. on The Blob (1988)

October 28th, 2013 by unkle lancifer · 6 Comments

I have a trauma that I’ve been unable to escape for twenty-three years of my life, and I still can’t watch the movie where it originated: the 1988 remake of The Blob.

I was three years old, and at the time the only TV we had was in the living room, so if my parents wanted to watch a movie they would kick me off of cartoons and watch whatever they wanted, barring the consequences. One of our local channels would run a movie every Friday night, and one night they were showing The Blob.

Now, I was into creepy stuff back then. My dad was a fanatic for old sci-fi movies, so I had already seen stuff like Earth Vs. the Flying Saucers and IT! The Terror From Beyond Space. I foolishly thought that if I could handle those movies, I could handle this one, so I snuggled up next to my dad in his armchair, prepared to be entertained.

And then along comes Paul (I think that was his name…not going to look it up for fear of coming across pictures) getting melted into a screaming, thrashing gooey mess, and my childlike innocence is forever marred. I don’t think I’ve experienced real terror from watching a movie before or since. I had nightmares for FIVE YEARS afterward. Five years. And I still can’t watch that stupid movie without reverting back to my three year-old self; I tried when I was fourteen, thinking that I could probably handle it now, since I loved movies like An American Werewolf in London and John Carpenter’s The Thing. I WAS WRONG. The whole time I was waiting for that scene to come on, my heart was racing and a rising sense of panic was growing in my chest. And when it finally reared its gruesome head, I ran crying from the room, covering my ears so I wouldn’t be able to hear it, while everyone else in the room laughed at how goofy and schlocky it was.

So, now I’m forever afraid of a relatively silly gorefest from the ’80s with moderately good special effects and somewhat goofy acting. Thanks, Dad.

Tags: Traumafessions

6 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Chuckles72No Gravatar // Oct 28, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Oh yeah, this film was a true gory horrorfest. The scene referenced by Melody is probably the most horrifying – I really did not see the boyfriend getting blobbed and was pretty shocked that he was taken out (he seemed the hero-type) and that it was such a cruel death.

    IMHO the Blob creature in this film is terrifying because it is so utterly alien. The blob takes Seth Brundle’s line about “no insect politicians” to a whole other level. The Blob wouldn’t think twice about eating your grandma in the most horrifying way possible – in fact, it would not think once.

  • 2 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Oct 28, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    Love this movie! And Chuckles I agree they did a great job presenting this blob as a sort of disease. I remember not even wanting to see it in theater and then being blown away by how good it was when it came out on VHS. Great traumafession Melody!

    Here’s a link to our review from a couple of years back….I always find the snow-cure kinda moving for some reason and Shawnee Smith is aces.

  • 3 FatherOfTearsNo Gravatar // Oct 28, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    The “sink scene” got me! OK, I knew the guy would be attacked but I cringed when the pipe bulged as the man was pulled down the drain!

  • 4 JennyD13No Gravatar // Oct 31, 2013 at 12:02 am

    Oh! The phone booth scene! It’s still a little too claustrophobic for me!

  • 5 shweeshweeNo Gravatar // Nov 3, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    Sweet, thanks for posting my Traumafession! I clicked the comments link to take me directly to the bottom of this page, because I had a feeling there would be pictures…don’t want to dig up the old nightmares all over again! LOL

    While the first one was the one that clinched it for me, I’d have to say that pretty much ALL the death scenes added to my fear of this movie–sink guy, phone booth dude, the theater full of people…dear lord. I’m surprised I can still eat Jello after all this time.

    One good thing I can say about this movie is that it had balls. I mean, no one was safe from this pink gelatinous nightmare ooze. Even little kids got digested by this thing, if I can recall correctly. I think what made it seriously scary is that it was faceless and mindless. There was no reasoning with it. It wants to eat you, and it can ooze through cracks in the walls and ceilings to get to you.

    Ugh…where’s Steve McQueen when you need him?

  • 6 shweeshweeNo Gravatar // Jan 3, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    Actually, coming back to this now, I had something of an epiphany moment; I think I know why this death in particular affected me so much (I realize it’s random to be coming back to this after so much time has gone by, but whatevs). As a young kid and exposed to mostly cartoons and the like, I wasn’t used to seeing potential hero characters get killed off (especially this brutally LOL), and I would usually take a really intense liking to who I perceived as the main “do-gooder” of whatever show or movie I would watch and get really attached to them. Too bad I was unaware that in horror movies, pretty much all bets are off, and I grew attached to this unlucky sap. As a three year-old, it was more scary to me that the “good guy”–the clean-cut, somewhat handsome, trying to do the right thing kind of person–could be utterly destroyed by “the bad guy”, which in this case wasn’t a guy at all, but a gross pile of flesh-eating pink snot. Sure, in the end, good does triumph over evil, but those first few minutes of the movie pretty much shattered everything I’d ever known about good and evil and stomped on the pieces. And my childhood would never be the same.
    Sorry for the weird psychological analysis LOL, but it’s kind of cool to finally realize what really made this so traumatic for me, looking at it through the eyes of a grown-up.

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