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Traumafessions/Name That Trauma :: Reader Kirsty D. on Time Bandits, Lord of the Flies, Full Metal Jacket and an Alien Teen on a Tractor

May 3rd, 2010 by aunt john · 9 Comments

I was thinking about movies that traumatized me as a kid all night, and couldn’t sleep. So, the first movie I kept thinking about was TIME BANDITS. O.K., where do I start… There was the scene where the boy and the time bandits run into the ogre on the ship with his wife. If I remember correctly, the ogre ate feet for municipal purposes. I think there were feet hanging everywhere in the ship. Then there was the scene where the giant steps on a house with some family inside, with the adults arguing, wasn’t sure if it was the ogre’s house or not, but I heard what I think was a baby crying.

Then, there was the scene where DAVID RAPPAPORT “The Wizard” threatens to beat one of the other time bandits with a human skull and of course JOHN CLEESE the evil sorcerer turning one of the guys’ upper halves into a pig, and causing a column to fall and kill one of the guys. He also turned a stupid guard of his into a sheep dog and later zapped and disintegrated him. He was really creepy too, blowing up like a pincushion and turning into a rock and blowing up by the weird guy who was supposed to be God.

At the end there’s a piece of him in the microwave after the boy wakes up with the house burning down, and if I remember correctly, the boy tells his parents not to touch it and they both reached over to touch it anyway and disappear and die? Then at the very end, the boy’s looking around looking around like “mom, dad,” when suddenly joyful music plays and the credits roll. The disgusting scene where one of the little guys bites off a rat’s head saying eat up because that’s all they would have to eat, while hanging in the cage kept running through my head and I don’t like it.

Well, as I was thinking about this, for some odd reason I began thinking about the ‘89 version of LORD OF THE FLIES. The kids eating raw pig and the boy getting speared, and poor Piggie! I think that the main ‘protagonist’ kid tried dissociating himself from Piggie to save his own skin. The scene where Piggie gets the rock pushed on his head while trying to reason with them was really disturbing. I saw bits and pieces of it on a cable channel, and that still disturbs me.

After that my mind wandered to FULL METAL JACKET, which I saw when I was 7. So that whole scene where the VINCENT D’ONOFRIO character has the gun in the toilets shooting the drill sergeant and himself disturbed me, especially since the sergeant’s treatment of him was presented as comical before the soap beating scene, since the VINCENT D’ONOFRIO character was selfish. After that it went to that “I love you long time” scene in Vietnam and I was like “Is this the same movie?” I didn’t watch the rest of it.

On another subject, there’s this scene that I know existed, but nobody seems to know what it was from. There were these blond children, a teenage girl and some boy, and it involved Cyborgs or androids. I think some woman figured out that they were evil androids, or something to that effect, and the girl chases her out into a parking lot or barn. The boy gets into a tractor and runs his sister over. It was in black and white.


Tags: Name That Trauma! · Traumafessions

9 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Kendo NackadoginNo Gravatar // May 3, 2010 at 10:44 am

    John Cleese wasn’t the “evil sorcerer” in Time Bandits. He played Robin Hood.  Evil (or the Evil Genius as he’s referred to in the end credits – the script also gives the full name Arthur G. Evil!) is pretty obviously meant as a Devil figure to Ralph Richardson’s God, and is played by the ever-brilliant David Warner.

  • 2 LaDraculNo Gravatar // May 3, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    I think the thing with him being happy about his parents’ demise is that they didn’t really pay attention to him and he never felt loved. 🙁

  • 3 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // May 3, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    I gotta say, I’m surprised that nobody has ever mentioned Time Bandits before here on Kindertrauma. I always thought the minotaur that Sean Connery had to behead was pretty dang scary. (and cool)

  • 4 JergyNo Gravatar // May 3, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Thank you Kendo.  I honestly feel bad correcting people since my brain isn’t always functioning at a high level. But my love of David ‘Sark’ Warner was going to get the better of me. Luckily you did the deed for me.
    Agreed Unk, there were all kinds of scary elements here. Plus the story was just flat out bizarre. I saw this at an age when I had no clue who Terry Gilliam was and it definitely stuck with me.

  • 5 DarkilNo Gravatar // May 3, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    Hey Unk,  if you want to see scary, watch Zardoz with Sean Connery running around in a red diaper! Gives me the creeps even though its The Connery.

  • 6 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // May 3, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    Ah yes Darkil, Zardoz! I know those red diapers well, plus he has a pony tail in that! I had a pal who looooved Zardoz but he also had a bit of a drug problem too. I can never understand what’s going on in that movie!

  • 7 theverysmallarrayNo Gravatar // May 4, 2010 at 1:41 am

    David Warner’s has always been the go-to bad guy, except when he went semi-tard in “Straw Dogs”. Both he and Connery seemed to get in better shape as they  got older. The 70’s and early 80’s should be known as The Age of Great Hirsute Dissipation. Michael Caine was a similar case.

  • 8 theverysmallarrayNo Gravatar // May 4, 2010 at 1:53 am

    I Forgot-as per stonerisms, I had a friend that would always throw the “Someone left a joint in the oven!” from T.B. on his mixtapes at odd times. “Private Pyle” as the no-nosed dude in “The Salton Sea” is freaky too. Don’t touch it-It’s Evillll!

  • 9 KirstyNo Gravatar // May 6, 2010 at 1:01 am

    I’m sorry that I thought that David Warner’s part of Evil was played by John Cleese and called him an evil sorcerer.  It’s been a long time since I saw the movie, but I don’t know why I thought that.  I wrote that when I was really tired and off my meds.  So, that’s why it’s so screwed up.

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