kindertrauma

Name That Trauma :: Reader Rodrigo T. on a Town Turned Green

Posted on By aunt john

Good morning!

I was wondering if you know the title of a horror movie in the 1980s?

Description: There were a couple student classmates that were in love, but there is a problem. An evil woman that was obsessed with him, but he doesn't love her, so, the evil woman took in revenge against the girl — killing her, stabbing a knife in her back in the car in front of her boyfriend.

There are more details about that movie. The town was under a curse because the people became greenish skin. The boy cursed her before her girlfriend had died. I remember when he said, "Damn you are!! Damn you are!!" Finally, she laughed with an evil laughing like this "Hahaahhaahah-haahhaahhahaha!!!!!!!!" and then he said, "Oh God someone help me."

Do you remember that movie? Yes/No?

Please tell me the title of that horror movie.

Also I am not sure but the evil woman was so cute; Caucasian, she had a long black hair, and she dressed in black.

Thanks again,

— Rodrigo T.

The Cabin in the Woods

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I got so busy this past weekend I forgot to tell you all about my successful, highly NON-disappointing excursion to see THE CABIN IN THE WOODS. I feel like it might almost be too late as you've probably heard the good news elsewhere but if I can convince one fence-sitter to go and check it out, then I'd like to give it a shot. Trouble is, if ever there was a movie you should know little or nothing about before seeing it, it's this one. So how can I persuade you without wrecking the whole thing? I went twice. Does that work? As soon as the movie was over I checked when the next show time was and then I saw it again. Now, would I do that for a terrible movie? Frankly, yes I would, but you're missing my point, I had to see THE CABIN IN THE WOODS twice because once was not enough to fully process its wonder. I can't wait to own this movie because I need to pause it on a couple scenes and nibble every single pixel. I want to watch it with close captioning so that no word can elude me. AMY ACKER is in this. I love her.

So yeah, I may have a bit of a raging predisposition for CABIN too. The sad truth is that for years, while secretly mocking the world's religions, I have also been hypocritically praying in the temple of JOSS WHEDON. I try to keep a lid on it. I know how it must sound but in the wee hours of the night when nobody's around, I'm watching a BUFFY episode for the gazillionth time and experiencing euphoric highs while weeping and speaking in tongues. JOSS WHEDON's face once appeared to me on an Eggo waffle. Ok that's not true but it's sort of basically true-ish. THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, which WHEDON co-wrote with director DREW GODDARD (who also penned some of my favorite BUFFY episodes), justifies my reverence and is an accumulation of the type of genre smudging and creative cajoles that ignited my zealotry. This sermon is only an hour and a half rather than seven years so jump on the express train to glory my brothers and sisters. Halleluiah!

Also while you are in church shut up. You're there to listen and observe not to try to figure it out before other people do or ponder the differences between what you thought it might be and what it is. Every horror fan should see this but those who bemoan sequels and remakes and wail for originality should be forced to see it at gunpoint. Be glad I'm not in charge because each ticket would also come with a mandatory ball gag. As a courtesy, I will soften expectations by saying this is not the type of thing you endure and then boast to your friends that it didn't faze you because you're so cool. It's not trying to impress you with hackneyed depravity; it's more of a boundary butcher that gets off on how limitlessly imaginative the genre could be if we stopped giving people what they want and start giving them what they need. CABIN is no way the be-all end-all. I enjoy many flavors to choose from and I'm not convinced that the rules and tropes it subverts need be fully abandoned. Still, in my eyes, this movie craftily climbs to a peak position where it can both revel in where horror has been and scout out the infinite possibilities ahead. Every New Testament should be this much fun.

Traumafessions :: Reader Chanter on Size Small

Posted on By aunt john

Hi Kindertrauma!

It's been a while since I last sent in a traumafession (though by the looks of the comments to that last, I may have inadvertently traumatized someone's kidlet – sorry!) so I thought I'd share another one.

As in my first two, sound played a significant role in this one as well. If any other readers were watching U.S. public television in the late 1980s or early 1990s, they probably saw more than a few Canadian children's television programs. I definitely did, and I'm the happier for it. Most of these were pretty warm and fuzzy, and the source of much enjoyment for tiny me. There was one SIZE SMALL snippet that I could never entirely enjoy, however.

I know it probably sounds ridiculous that Miss Helen's announcement of, "It's cookies in the kitchen time!" left me dismayed, but it routinely did. The music has a lot to do with it; something about that synthesizer note buzzing in the background just plain gets under my skin to this day. The lyrics are quite innocuous, and taken on their own, they're really rather cute. But, being a neurotic little girl (haven't changed much either, only now I'm a bit taller) with a fear of hot and burning things among others, kindergarten-ish me subconsciously took the idea of an ovenful of baking cookies and ran with it. Figures I'd get a nightmare from something so harmless. In it, the "Ooh they're bakin'" line was followed by "Ooh they're burnin'", a smoke alarm, continued menacing music, and a whole host of other things as time went on–yes, this nightmare stuck with me and expanded as I got older! Brrrrr! … I'm only now realizing just how big my issues with fire were as a child.

Sorry, Miss Helen, if you're reading this. I know you didn't mean to traumatize anybody. One sketch does not an otherwise delightful viewing experience ruin, I assure you.

— Chanter

Once, Then & Now :: Mickster on Buried Alive (1990)

Posted on By kinderpal mickster

ONCE
I first watched BURIED ALIVE on USA back in 1990. I was still living at home and just starting college. Although I had not yet felt the sting of betrayal in a relationship, I immediately identified with the character Clint (TIM MATHESON). Clint is a hardworking and faithful husband. I have always been a rule-follower in my life, so I have issues with people who do not follow the rules. For that reason, I disliked the characters Joanna (JENNIFER JASON LEIGH) and Cort (WILLIAM "No Dick" ATHERTON– GHOSTBUSTERS). I cheered for Clint as he meticulously exacted revenge against his plotting wife and her lover. I also fussed at Joanna over the numerous dumb moves she made along the way (i.e., not giving Clint the full amount of fishy poison in his wine, skipping the embalming, and racing to sell his business and home). Overall, nineteen-year-old Mickster found the movie entertaining and the ending satisfying.

THEN
I was excited when I found of copy of BURIED ALIVE at Monster Mania in early June 2011. I had not seen it since 1990 and as far as I knew, it had not been released on DVD. Before I had a chance to enjoy it though life dealt me a devastating blow. Having discovered my ex-spouse had also been unfaithful, I now had more in common with Clint than I did when I watched the movie before. In late July, I managed to make myself watch it again and it made my blood boil. In fact, it was almost too much for me to take at that point. I sat down and started to write about the movie…

"I can relate to Clint Goodman's plight. I feel his pain at being screwed over by the person who is supposed to care the most in his life. Clint is a ‘good man' who loves his wife and wants nothing more than to build a long-lasting life with her. He has built her a beautiful country home and has a successful contracting company. When his wife says that she is going into the city overnight to shop and hangout with her girlfriends, Clint believes her without question. Clint's wife, however, is a lying, scheming whore with nefarious plans for her good and trusting husband."

Clearly forty-year-old Mickster was pissed off and a bit too close to the subject matter. Unkle Lancifer, being the sweetheart he is, suggested I walk away from writing about the film while my feelings were so raw. I agreed and pushed it aside until now.

NOW
I am now ready to revisit my old friend, BURIED ALIVE. It serves as a stark reminder of the thin line between love and hate. Although I still side with Clint throughout the movie, I have to point out some things he should have recognized, as I have had to do the same in my own life. It is clear to anyone watching the film that Joanna is not into her husband or the life he is trying desperately to build with her. Clint, like many of us in disintegrating relationships, is too busy trying to make this life work to see the problems before him. He assumes that because he is faithful and kind that his wife is too. This was an enormous mistake on Clint's part, which almost cost him his life. Even his loyal Rottweiler recognizes what a fraud his wife is. Animals are wise in these matters and can sense a phony quickly. (Note to my sweet kitty Professor Von Whiskersen, I should have noticed your reactions to the ex. I will trust your judgment from now on.)

When Clint wakes up in a coffin, digs his way out, and stumbles home, he is floored by what he discovers. Clint's deep love quickly turns to bitter hatred and he plans his revenge. Even though Joanna and her scheming lover richly deserve this revenge, I feel that ultimately Clint would be unable to bear his actions since he is at heart loving and kind.

A lot can change in the way you view a film. Twenty-two years ago, Mickster was simply entertained. Nine months ago, Mickster was most definitely outraged. Now, Mickster is older, wiser, and thankfully calmer. I know it is only a movie, but I wish Clint had given himself the time to think things through more clearly. People like Joanna and Cort will ultimately destroy themselves with their selfishness. Clint could have watched this happen from the sidelines without soiling his own hands in the process.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Luke McG. on a Deadly Disappearing Act

Posted on By aunt john

Well, I'm not quite sure how I should introduce this, besides stating that I saw it as a child and it has since led to some pretty damn severe claustrophobia, and an intense distrust of disappearing acts…

I can't remember what the show was called, but I'm PRETTY sure it was one of those procedural cop shows (I wanna say BLUE HEELERS, but I've read the episode synopsis for every one, and I haven't found anything that caught my eye as being similar. So basically at the beginning of the show there's the "setup" for the investigation. In this case it was a magic show. Some man is called up and is put into a magic box, subsequently disappears and is never seen again, until the next morning where some kids throw a block of cement into a sewer drain and a waterlogged corpse is revealed to the camera. Turns out apparently the guy took a wrong turn in some sewer tunnels and got lost, got washed into the waters and drowned. That's all I know, hopefully it'll be enough to give someone a flashback and reveal what this gorram show is that's given me a lifelong fear!

— Luke McG.

Name That Trauma :: Reader M. Nelson on a Mid-Century Cabin in the Woods

Posted on By aunt john

My last three submissions for Name that Trauma were answered quickly and my sanity was saved but now I have found another movie I'm going slightly mad over…

Relatively recent film, last 10 years I think but could be wrong and I seem to remember I watched it with subtitles so I'm gonna have to guess it was a non-English, European import. Film opens on the exposition for the plot and is set in the last days of WWII soldiers, (German maybe?), come across an abandoned cabin and set up camp for the night. After exploring they find a dead body in the very locked basement and start screwing around with it. Turns out the dead body isn't really "dead" dead and proceeds to eat everybody except one soldier who happens to be a doctor and manages to get the undead back into a box and trapped again in the basement. He will be an important character in the rest of the movie that is set in modern day when a group of friends stumble across the same cabin. That pretty much is all I remember, I do know it is not DEAD SNOW for I am watching that right now and that is what reminded me of this.

Help me Kindertrauma, you're my only hope and thanks in advance.

— M.Nelson

Evansville, IN

The Cabin In The Woods Funhouse!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: Happy Friday the 13th! Not only is today the favorite day of our pal Jason but it is also the day that THE CABIN IN THE WOODS opens in a theater near you! Go see it! Horror movies are like teeth, if you ignore them they'll go away! In the meantime can you identify the cabins and merely cabin-ish dwellings below? Good luck! If you need me you know where I'm at!

Just Before Dawn (1981)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

JUST BEFORE DAWN is sort of like your run of the mill, early eighties killer in the woods flick except it's not because it's so fantastic and pretty. The set-up is as familiar as the sun and in my case, just as necessary. A camper filled with young folks in skimpy attire heads to the mountains blasting BLONDIE's HEART OF GLASS. Various oldsters warn the group to scram if they value their lives and, thankfully for me, they truck on. Familiar ground rarely looks this good and there are enough idiosyncratic flourishes to insure that the viewer isn't quite as sure they've seen this all before as they originally thought. Nobody wears a mask in JUST BEFORE DAWN because nobody needs to. Our killer here is often brazenly center stage; a lumbering, drooling hillbilly clown who's not afraid of daylight or accessorizing with fluorescent orange. Scampering behind trees and fading into waterfalls, this grimacing goon is straight out of Looney Tunes territory. He's a mountain of Elmer Fudd and he's everywhere at once.

If you give me some GEORGE KENNEDY we're good; you don't need to supply me with anything more. JUST BEFORE DAWN though, insists upon stuffing my semi-celebrity swag bag to overflow with a highly agreeable cast. Constant DePALMA co- cohort GREGG HENRY is present in an early role, as is RALPH SEYMOUR (KILLER PARTY, PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE), CHRIS LEMMON (WISHMASTER), JAMIE ROSE (PLAYROOM) and MIKE KELLIN of SLEEPAWAY CAMP fame. Final girl honors go to DEBORAH BENSON who learns the value of being proactive, wearing make-up and choking somebody with your fist in swift order. Her method of monster disposal may produce the oddest kill in slasher history (it's almost an answer to Ash's porn mag attack on Ripley in ALIEN) and there's a nifty gender role switcheroo within the film's denouement that lingers like the dying campfire smoke that frames it.

Most importantly, JBD has several stylin' slash-happy set pieces that include but are not limited to: a suspenseful rope bridge standoff, a graveyard mix up involving a Velma-esque optical predicament, and a sexy underwater salute to THE HAUNTING's "Whose hand was I holding?" routine. Plus have you ever seen a lady climb up a tree only to have a hillbilly chop down said tree with a machete? You should.

Director JEFF LIEBERMAN wears a diamond-studded king's crown in my head because he not only made this baby but also the super fun SQUIRM and the phenomenal BLUE SUNSINE too. JUST BEFORE DAWN may not explode with originality in the story department and I thank it for that. Why build a brand new house when you can simply redecorate? The atmosphere is singular here and LIEBERMAN is almost working in black and white with green substituting as white and shocking orange stepping in for black. The simple but dramatic visuals married with the great BRAD (FRIGHT NIGHT) FIEDEL's eerie, ominous score create an almost alien planet climate out of the Oregon woods in which this was filmed. I doubt everything intended was accomplished, several ideas feel dropped and left behind like burdensome backpacks but what we're left is my cup of tea and then some. I wouldn't complain if Mr. KENNEDY had more to do but I can't begrudge the guy some well earned paid recreational horseback riding. If you like the woods and you like horror then this is the perfect place to be and if you dig humongous hillbillies with machetes, you'll find JUST BEFORE DAWN the perfect time.

Matilda (1996) by Chris Moore

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I often tell people that I'm lucky. I grew up in a time when children's entertainment was at its best. These were before the days of BLUE'S CLUES and TELETUBBIES giving kids everywhere ADD (you know it's true, people!) Back in my day (why hello, Grandpa), family entertainment was wholesome, but not completely braindead like a lot of it is now. The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon had only recently hit the airwaves and they weren't afraid to take chances. In many ways, The Disney Channel was sort of like the TCM of its day. It was there that I'd end up seeing a good majority of all the old MGM musicals, the delicious TEEN WITCH, and the goofy ROGER CORMAN produced STEPMONSTER (yes, Disney used to show CORMAN movies.) Hell, even Nickelodeon used to air the slightly subversive and spooky ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?

Out of all the great kid friendly things to come out of the ‘80s and ‘90s (of which there are many), the film adaptation of Roald Dahl's 1988 novel MATILDA goes straight to the top of my list. I first saw it in theaters back in '96. Two twins in my 1st grade class decided to have their birthday party at the movies and they picked this one to go see. Pretty much the entire class showed up, not knowing that we were about to have our minds blown.

The story centers around young Matilda Wormword. Matilda's white trash parents hardly even know she exists and spend their days selling used cars for unfair prices, getting their hair dyed, and playing bingo. Little do they know that, even from an extremely young age, their daughter has had an abnormally large IQ. Since she's so neglected at home, she becomes self-sufficient and even braves the big city to seek out a library so that she can quench her thirst for knowledge.

When she finally asks to go to school at age 6, her parents send her to Crunchem Hall, a school that looks more like a correctional facility than a place of higher learning. There, she comes face to face with the butch Agatha Trunchbull, the school's stern headmistress, who has a thing for tossing disobedient children out windows, over fences by their pigtails, and into the Chokey, an iron maiden-esque contraption filled with nails and broken glass. Thankfully, Matilda ends up in the classroom of Miss Honey, a kindly teacher who appreciates the quirks of every student she teaches and starts to believe that Matilda might be exceptionally gifted. Did I also mention that Matilda has psychokinetic powers? Oopsy! The story is like PRECIOUS meets some sort of bizarre JOHN WATERS movie meets CARRIE…but for kids.

What stands out most is how the story never speaks down to children. It's that special something that Roald Dahl had. If you look at his other works such as THE WITCHES and CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, you'll see what I mean. His stories are never inappropriate, but they also never gloss over some of the darker themes that most children's writers would. They're sort of like the Grimm's Fairy Tales of our time. As a kid, I respected that. I looked up to the storytellers who knew we were brave enough to handle the injustices that life might throw at us. Plus, Dahl always delivered his stories with a playful wink in his eye and his tongue planted firmly in his cheek.

MARA WILSON (who I loved in MRS. DOUBTFIRE, too!) plays Matilda and is super adorable. Real life couple DANNY DeVITO (who also directed the film) and RHEA PERLMAN as Matilda's trashy, inept parents threaten to steal the show at any moment. They're hysterical! EMBETH DAVIDTZ radiates a genuine warmth as Miss Honey. She's the teacher we all wanted as kids. You just want to give her a hug and let her adopt you. PAM FERRIS should probably join the ranks of Kindertrauma Traumatizers for her portrayal of The Trunchbull. She commits to the role in such a way that leaves your jaw on the floor. There's not one bit of vanity in her performance. She just looks like she'd smell really bad. I actually just recently looked up a recent picture of her and was shocked that she was such a beautiful lady in real life. This is real acting, folks!

A few traumatizing moments include:

  • The sequence where Bruce Bogtrotter is put on stage in front of the entire school by the Trunchbull and made to eat an entire chocolate cake as punishment for stealing the Trunchbull's. It's made even more disturbing when the cook, old and sweaty, emerges from the wings carrying the cake. The Trunchbll admits that her "sweat and blood went into this cake" as the cook starts wiping her runny nose on her apron.
  • Matilda uses her powers to convince the Trunchbull that her house is haunted by the spirit of the brother she possibly murdered.
  • The extended suspense sequence when Miss Honey and Matilda break into the Trunchbull's house only to have her return abruptly. It's a nail biting scene that puts a lot of similar scenes in legit horror films to shame.

    • Matilda still holds up as a surprisingly fun and refreshing viewing experience. I've probably seen it over a hundred times since its first release and I still never tire of it. It's just as warm, touching, funny, and poignant as the first time. In fact, Dahl has gotten surprisingly lucky in terms of film adaptations. Both THE WITCHES and CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (I'm talking about the one with Gene Wilder, not Johnny Depp!) were also adapted into stellar films worthy of coverage on Kindertrauma. God knows I have my own horror stories about watching those two. As a matter of fact, those films still make me a little uneasy when I watch them. There's something about them that gets under my skin.

    Special kudos go out to the film's composer, DAVID NEWMAN, who also composed HEATHERS, which is another one of my favorite film scores. His music is at times quirky, scary, suspenseful, and often heartbreaking. Take a listen to this suite (HERE). Also, what kid of the ‘90s doesn't immediately think of this song when this movie is brought up?

    UNK SEZ:: Thanks for covering this fondly remembered movie Chris! I'm a fan myself. Folks, don't forget Chris'movie PERVERSION is available HERE!

    Traumafessions :: Eric J. On Dungeons and Dragons and Jack Chick

    Posted on By unkle lancifer

    The "Satanic Panic" of the 1980s was in full swing in my small town when I was introduced to one of the main recruiting tools of the dark lord, Dungeons and Dragons. TSR's role playing game was a one way ticket to a steady diet of brimstone and piping hot Fresca for all eternity. A few of my older friends had mentioned that they were starting to play, and I was more than just a little interested. I had stumbled across a copy of the "Dungeon Masters Guide" at my local Waldenbooks and was captivated by the cover, a wizard or mage type person fought valiantly with a Paladin companion against a giant red devil wielding an equally giant scimitar. I remember glancing around the bookstore hoping that the devil or one of his minions wouldn't notice me as I dared to pick up the book. As if on cue a small black pamphlet fell out of the book and on the floor. It was the infamous Jack Chick tract, "Dark Dungeons."

    Jack Chick tracts had already traumatized me for a few years prior to this point. The tract, "Bewitched" had exposed me to the horrors of drug use and the day to day battle that praying grandmothers had with Satan himself. The image of poor Ashley Wilson's face melting off as she looked into a mirror during a drug "Freak out" had insured that I would stay away from drugs until I was at least out of middle school!

    "Dark Dungeons" is one of the mostly widely known and parodied Chick tracts. Poor Marcie and Black Leaf ! The horrors of role playing games were spelled out as people died with their characters, while other cast, "Mind Bondage" spells on their parents so they could play more. The reclusive Jack Chick spread his hysterical propaganda with a formidable output on many subjects, Halloween and Catholicism being rich and oft visited targets. It's debated whether or not Jack Chick is one person or a group of people writing under a pseudonym, but what is not debated is that his methods impacted readers.

    I eventually learned by playing Dungeons and Dragons, that it wasn't a portal to hell and damnation, but rather a conduit for the imagination. How many people wrote stories about their adventures and went on to discover great fantasy literature or even developed the games that we play today. Dungeons and Dragons hysteria also produced the seriously awful movie, "Mazes and Monsters", starring a pre-fame Tom Hanks as a role playing fan that takes things a little too seriously.

    Every once and a while I feel like pulling the dice out of storage and dusting off my trusty cleric character sheet, but then I realize that there is real life to attend to, and that Greyhawk has passed me by. Hopefully my son will gravitate towards role playing games and exercise his imagination with me on a campaign someday.

    — Eric J.

    .