kindertrauma

Traumafessions :: Reader Eric McDade on Fallen Angel

Posted on By aunt john

Hey again guys:

I'm not quite sure if it's just me, but I'm assuming that many folks my age were equally affected by the mid-eighties triad of The Bomb, AIDS and Crack, whose growth-stunting effects on the young teen mind were unmatched at the time.

Being in 7th grade and watching THE DAY AFTER (Thanks Andi T.) three nights in a row was, for me, terrifying.

AIDS didn't even need a made-for-TV movie to screw up a 13 year-old, hormone-riddled mind.

And, thank you, CRACKED UP for showing us how even such a fun thing as smoking pot can quickly lead to the untimely death of a budding high-school sports star.

Now, before The Big Three came at me, I had been content to believe the biggest concerns in America were with their far more innocent analogs, Bulllies (MY BODYGUARD), Premarital Sex (see a very special episode of GIMME A BREAK), and just plain-old Pot (Do yourself a favor and get a copy of the ABC Afterschool Special, STONED with SCOTT BAIO.)

And somewhere between these two groups, my brain was branded with an indelible memory.

Perhaps, not so indelible, as I don't really remember every aspect of it.

I just remember the icky-ness of it.

And the icky-ness was huge.

At least the way I remember it.

Aside from The Big Three, one of the largest psychic scars I garnered as a kid occurred upon viewing FALLEN ANGEL.

In it, RICHARD MASUR plays a consummate creep, and DANA HILL is the newest addition to his softball-team / kiddie-porn ring. Mostly, what I recall is a never-ending bounty of pills for the kids to enjoy and a cooler full of Orange Crush to wash them down with, accompanied by a blurry cascade of satin jackets and too much lip gloss.

The only line I can remember enough to butcher is from when a more experienced girl tries to get DANA HILL's character to ease into the whole gig, telling her, "It's no big deal. Just show a little skin and give a toothpaste smile."

Anyone?

Eric McDade

P.S.: By the way, all that icky-ness from FALLEN ANGEL would eventually come flooding back to me in a tidal wave of revulsion while watching DANA HILL chew gum and blow bubbles on the train in EUROPEAN VACATION.The sounds….

UNK SEZ: Eric, I was traumatized by FALLEN ANGEL too; I never watched ONE DAY AT A TIME the same way again and I think RICHARD MASUR's mustache alone should have been arrested for indecency! As disturbing as that 1981 television film was, who can deny the fact that DANA HILL delivered a fine performance, just as she was always known to do. DANA seemed to be in just about everything in the early eighties (most notably in SHOOT THE MOON opposite DIANE KEATON and ALBERT FINNEY ) but then disappeared due to poor health. Thanks to her signature raspy voice though, she went on to do a lot of voice over work in popular cartoons like GUMMI BEARS. Sadly DANA died of diabetes in 1996 at the age of 32. If anybody out there would like to help people with diabetes in honor of DANA this holiday season, just do some shopping HERE!

Ink

Posted on By unkle lancifer

INK is a glaringly original, "Fake it ‘till you make it" shoestring budgeted indie that audaciously envisions itself as a grand scale, epic fantasy. If you take a leap of faith and hold tight to its coat tails, it will show you a fascinating parallel universe the likes of which you've never seen; if you are rigidly resistant to its unapologetic non Hollywood esthetic and sometimes woeful dependence on community theater acting skills, you're likely to be kicked to the curb and left empty handed. This is a movie that fittingly feels built to detect and separate the stubbornly cynical naysayers from the hopeful dreamers in its audience.

When I was just a wee sprout, my Granny felt the need to inform me that when I was having a good dream an angel was sitting on my bed and telling me a story (so far so good) but when I was having a bad dream, a demon was doing the honors. Turns out it's not a very soothing idea to wake up from a bad dream as a child believing that a demon was just in your room, but INK reveals that it does make for a compelling starting point of a movie. Little Emma (QUINN HUNCHAR) not only wakes to find such a demon still lurking, but is also kidnapped by him and drug into a creepily beautiful netherworld.

Emma has been stolen by "Ink," a troll like creature stuck in a spiritual limbo who plans to use her as a bargaining chip to join the ranks of the dark side. Not so into his plan is Liev (JESSICA DUFFY) a good guy, guardian angel type who vows to save her. That's my simplified take anyway; the movie itself offers an impressively dense mythology involving Incubi, storytellers, pathfinders and other dream world denizens that I can't get into here because it's borderline TOLKIEN. Really, INK feels like an adaptation of a decades long comic book that you never heard of. Those susceptible to fetishizing sci-fi/fantasy minutia get your pens out and plan multiple viewings.

Although INK's whole backyard stage production of LABYRINTH vibe would be enough to recruit me as a fan, the fact is (and I have to tread softly here as to not ruin anything) it's ultimately damn profound. Unlike the many cult films it's bound to be compared to, what's at stake in this universe is nothing less momentous than the human soul. Don't be surprised if you are left contemplating just how far life's indignities have veered you off course from who you once were.

Writer, director and composer JAMIN WINANS is apparently fearless. If there are any limitations to low budget filmmaking he either didn't get the memo or refuses to acknowledge it. If he was ever an underage drinker, I'm sure he was never carded, so convincing is he that he deserves to walk among the big kids. I don't have any money, but if I did I'd be investing it all in his next film. It's not every day you witness straw spun into gold.

Like all great things INK is too unusual to be loved unanimously, but something tells me that the depth of the passion it's sure to inspire in some is all the acceptance it needs.

Note: Special thanks to reader Chris for telling me about INK!

Traumafessions :: Reader Donna P. on The Little Drummer Boy

Posted on By aunt john

As Christmas draws near and the RANKIN AND BASS specials start popping up on television, I recall a particular RANKIN AND BASS production called THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY. I hadn't seen it in over 30 years so my memories were a bit fuzzy but I was pretty sure I remembered a scene that disturbed me as a child–bandits rob the little drummer boy's home and set it on fire, the boy escapes but his parents perish. The scene that particularly upset was the boy looking back at the house to watch his mother engulfed in flames while tears ran down her face.

Today I found the movie on Veoh.com and decided to watch it, wondering if I'd remembered that scene correctly. When it got to the part about the bandits, there was the house burning, but no weeping mother. Did they cut it out I wondered? I kept watching it and sure enough, later in the movie there is a scene where the boy is angry, remembering what happened to his parents and very quickly their faces appear on the screen, the mother with a tear on her cheek, surrounded by flames. It seemed to be more of a montage of what the bandits did, rather than an actually depiction of his mother burning to death, but as a child that's how I interpreted it.

Traumafessions :: Reader Carol W. on The Fearless Vampire Killers

Posted on By aunt john

When I was pretty little, some time in the ‘70s, some babysitter let me and my sibs watch ROMAN POLANSKI's THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS. It scared the crap out of me. The old hunter who kept freezing and having to be thawed out was bad, but the worst was the woman who was stolen out of her bath by the vampire. I was terrified for weeks, afraid I was going to be snatched out of my bathtub by a vampire.

When I was in college I rented it and re-watched it to see what was so terrifying, and then I saw that it was a sex farce and that the vampire was a homosexual trying to seduce the young vampire hunter. What a difference twenty years makes!

Carol

Name That Trauma :: Reader Stephen C. on a Muddy Monster

Posted on By aunt john

First off… great site. I spent 3 hours on it tonight.

I remember a movie I saw on T.V. when I was a kid in the late '70s early '80s. It was about a group of teenagers in the woods being attacked by a monster made of mud? I believe they were on an island in the woods? or by a large lake?

Any idea on the movie name?

Thanks,

Stephen

UNK SEZ: Stephen C., that sounds very much like THE WORLD BEYOND A.K.A. THE MUD MONSTER! I don't recall teenagers being involved but the action did take place on an island and the monster was most certainly made of mud. Check out our review HERE and the video below and tell us if it looks like it might be the one you're seeking!

Traumafessions :: Reader CGAussie on Mac & Me

Posted on By aunt john

Hey Unkle and Aunt!

Allow me a moment to sing your sites praises. Despite being a yellow bellied Aussie girl, I've relived and discovered so much trauma at the hands (sites have hands, right?) of this wonderful page.

I felt it necessary to share with you a trauma I've had since I was a wee one. As mentioned above I had a fair few, I was so weak! I didn't even watch POLTERGEIST until I was 25 (last year). But as for stories from my youth, there is one that sticks out in my mind was a video trailer for the movie length commercial MAC & ME. I didn't even have to see the movie to be terrified! I don't even recall what video it was on but there it was, this horribly tiny ugly thing!

This was meant to be good wholesome entertainment?? Not to THIS little black duck! I even recall something about a vacuum cleaner, and being stuck on the ceiling…? I don't know if that's another trauma mixing with this one, but the scene of it sent me hitting the fast forward button on my VCR as hard as I could with my eyes shut.

I've never seen the movie. Such is the power of MAC & ME. I even faced my fears today in locating a trailer and wow. Does that movie look pathetic (and a rip off!) but still, as states by so many traumafessions before me, it's amazing what scared us then hardly phases us now.

I've got many more traumafessions, but they can wait for another time.

Your fellow sufferer down under,

CGAussie

AUNT JOHN SEZ: CGAussie, if you though the theatrical trailer was a doozy…

… then DO NOT WATCH this one:

Pontypool

Posted on By unkle lancifer

God bless PONTYPOOL. I've been thinking lately about what a slobbering dope I am for eye candy. I can't help it, I'm a visual person. Is it shiny? Does it sparkle? I can overlook many a flaw in a film as long as it gives my retinas a hootchie-coochie dance. PONTYPOOL, though handsomely shot in a bare bones way, would be equally effective to a blind man (and was, in actuality, simultaneously produced as a radio show.) It enters your ear like that crazy worm from WRATH OF KHAN and it burrows into your brain like a corkscrew. Audiophiles listen closely, have I got a film for you.

Adapted by TONY BURGESS from his novel, PONTYPOOL CHANGES EVERYTHING and directed by BRUCE McDONALD (HARD CORE LOGO and the now suddenly interesting to me, TRACEY FRAGMENTS), PONTYPOOL is scholar smart, stoner weird and ten times more interesting than most of the porridge you've been served this year. A brain diddler from beginning to end, there are moments as soul chilling as a schizoid audio hallucination and some that are as jet black funny as a funeral parlor giggle fit. You may think you've seen it all as far as horror films go, but have you heard it all?

Pitch perfect STEPHEN McHATTIE stars as gruff Pontypool, Canada radio personality Grant Mazzy, whose normal broadcast is interrupted by reports of mad herds of people behaving ostensibly as zombies. Slowly it is unfolded that a virus is using language as a host and infecting anyone who hears certain key words, particularly words of endearment. Once infected the individual, out of frustration of not being able to express themselves, eventually comes to the conclusion that the only solution is to chew through the mouth of an uninfected person. Oh, and if a victim is not found, they vomit blood and die. Have you ever heard of anything like this before? Me neither.

Inspired a bit by H.G. WELLS' famous WAR OF THE WORLDS broadcast, a lot of the action here takes place in the audience's noggin. BE WARNED not all of you are going to dig this approach. If you had a disappointing experience with say, WILLIAM FRIEDKIN's BUG (which was based on a stage play), you may want to avoid this one. Personally, I was head over heels with this movie's adoration of semantics. Words are dissected and blown apart, poetry is made into garbage and garbage into poetry, meaning is ripped to shreds and communication is enemy and savior. Some call this a zombie movie but no, that word, like so many others, is wrong.

Thank you PONTYPOOL for gifting me an original horror experience. At times I thought I was watching the silliest, most preposterous joke and at other times I thought you were talking directly to me and that I might get infected myself. Either I'm going crazy or you PONTYPOOL are a genius. I can't tell you which because I don't know what either word means anymore.

Traumafessions :: Timo of Ghostofthemovie on It

Posted on By aunt john

Hi,

My name is Timo (a.k.a. ghostofthemovie) and here is my traumafession.

My worst kindertrauma was definitely the movie adaption of STEPHEN KING's novel IT by TOMMY LEE WALLACE. I'm still shaking when I remember watching it in my childhood.

Every time I saw TIM CURRY's clown masked face in a close up my heart started to pound and cold sweat was running down my neck. For a long time I was afraid to go outside when it was dark, because I thought the clown would come and hunt me down.

This kind of fear inspired by a movie was exciting in a completely new way. So I started to watch more horror stuff and I'm still a fan of this genre. But nowadays, these films are more like funny amusement than a deeply terrifying experience.

Great website by the way!

Greetings from Germany,

Timo