kindertrauma

Traumafessions :: Reader Erczilla on When a Stranger Calls

Posted on By aunt john

The year was 1980 and my grandparents had just got cable television. As a seven year old, I was amazed at the bounty of forbidden entertainment that was now available to me. I remember being astounded and confused by a sleazy aerobic program on Showtime and all the uncensored music videos that they showed in between the movies. My older sister and my older cousin told me that a scary movie called WHEN A STRANGER CALLS was coming on Showtime and we made plans to sneak out of our bedrooms and watch it.

We all sat in the living room with the lights turned off and were scared out of our minds by the first ten minutes of the movie. The tension filled the air as we huddled together and hoped that no one would be calling from another room in the house. Just as the movie was getting scarier and scarier, my sister heard a thumping and scratching sound coming from the coat closet. My cousin screamed at the top of her lungs as the scratching noise got louder. My grandmother came running into the living room and began cussing at us and wondered why we were up so late watching television. She opened the closet door and out sprang her cat. I remember feeling bad that we got caught, yet relieved that there wasn't a murderer waiting in the closet!

Traumafessions :: Reader Puca on Dragon Slayer

Posted on By aunt john

I saw DRAGON SLAYER when I was eleven years old, in the year it was released. In the film, the king has made a bargain with a very nasty dragon. In exchange for the dragon not destroying his villages, he provides the dragon with virgins. Twice a year there is a lottery to choose a girl to be sacrificed to the dragon. But one year, the Princess learns that her name has never gone into the lottery. She sees this as a horrible wrong she must correct and replaces all the tiles with her name to guarantee that she is chosen at the next lottery.

Even when the Princess has the chance to escape her self-induced fate, she doesn't. She descends into the cave. You don't see her for a while, until the Slayer (PETER McNICHOL) happens upon her. And there she lays, dead (one would assume), but looking pretty decent except for a little blood…

… and there are baby dragons munching on her leg!

They've eaten off a fairly clean portion, and you can see the bone, and the baby dragons happily munching along like a hungry man eating a bad, fast food fried-chicken leg still attached to the chicken, ripping off more flesh as they go.

And they clean that bone.

It's visible in the darkness of the scene; a long white shank between two hunks of meat.

Just.

Bone.

And I wondered if she was dead when they started eating her. The baby dragons are hungry little buggers that look like nuclear-waste mutated MUPPETS. When SLAYER-boy McNICHOL kills them, they quiver about and are even creepier and sad because although they may be virgin-eating monsters, they're just babies.

Since then, I've never been able to deal with movies where people are eaten, especially if they're eaten alive. And if my ankles are touched or grabbed for any reason, I take serious umbrage!

Then my boyfriend learned of this trauma and thought it would be funny to bite my ankles. It was at his peril.

I found the scene in bits (at about 1:45) in a music video someone made, and it still turns my stomach.




Bigfoot (1970)

Posted on By unkle lancifer


If one Sasquatch monster per film is not enough for you, than 1970's BIGFOOT has your back. In this movie we find a whole clan of Bigfoot monsters running about, terrorizing a small town. Much like the fish monsters from HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP, these dudes only have one thing on their primitive minds, interbreeding with human ladies to populate their dwindling race. (We know that this type of inter-species whoopee has been successful in the past because there is a little Bigfoot/human hybrid helping them out).

One day the monsters kidnap a chick who happens to be the girlfriend of a member of a motorcycle gang that's passing through town and all types of hell breaks loose. Unbeknownst to the Sasquatch tribe, they have started a gang war! In order to preserve the lifestyle they have grown accustomed to, which consists of raping ladies by day and wrestling bears and mountain lions at night, the Bigfoot clan must defend their turf from the not threatening in the least motorcycle gang.

BIGFOOT, a certifiable mess with the most unconvincing sets this side of GILLIGAN'S ISLAND, at least knows how to have a little fun. Bikinis, funky music and motorcycles go a long way in hypnotizing the viewer into ignoring small details like the fact that you have to actually light dynamite to make it explode. JOHN CARADINE and, count 'em, two MITCHUMS (JOHN AND CHRISTOPHER) are on hand to ease some of the pain, but me thinks the film makers were relying mostly on the voluptuous talents of JOI LANSING to carry the audience through the film. I have to admit there is dopey fun to be had in this showdown for species dominance, but as usual I think I was routing for the wrong team's victory. One thing is undebatable, the sasquatch were not the most alarming inhabits of this film.

The Curse of Bigfoot

Posted on By unkle lancifer


If you're experiencing Bigfoot mania and you want it to end immediately, just watch THE CURSE OF BIGFOOT. Not only will you find yourself losing your appetite for the hairy beast but also for movies in general and perhaps even life itself. For me, it actually brought back memories of having to watch sleep inducing educational films in junior high school, and for that I can never forgive it. In fact, most of the movie involves a class lecture that never seems to end. I knew watching this movie so soon after seeing the incredible NIGHT OF THE DEMON was akin to going on a blind date right after meeting the person of my dreams, but I was willing to give it a fair shake anyway. Well let me tell you, if CURSE was a blind date it would be the type that you slam your door on after first glance.

I tried to be patient when Bigfoot showed up in the beginning wearing an obvious paper-maché mask. I even withstood the not quite amusing tale about two hillbillies encountering the beast in the woods. Then, mid-way through the film, a crazy lecturer appears out of nowhere to tell his own not even slightly harrowing tale. His story is actually a film made ten years earlier that's been tacked on to fill in CURSE's running time. Watching a completely different movie should be a relief, but the film he relays is TEENAGERS BATTLE THE THING; it involves a mummy in a cave and it's actually worse than the film we're already suffering through. (They were able to get the same guy from that much earlier picture to play the part of the dude who is boring the class, so kudos for that).

I suppose this movie could be fun if you are a masochist and I guess the idea of seeing two movies scotch-taped together is slightly intriguing, but in this case, the novelty is short lived. You all stand warned; if you're looking for anything resembling a good time, you're better off just walking over and opening your refrigerator and peering inside. There is sure to be more going on in there, and it's definitely going on at a much faster pace. Trust me NIGHT OF THE DEMON, what happened between me and THE CURSE OF BIGFOOT was meaningless!

Name That Trauma :: Kinderpal Absinthe of Gloomy Sunday on a Toxic Garbage Pail Girl

Posted on By aunt john

I remember watching a movie with my mother when I was young – about 6 – 8.  The movie was about a small town, which had a chemical (maybe nuclear?) company that employed them all.  Of course this is mid -1980's and they were trying to make a statement so the place is run very shoddy and we have a meltdown or a leak and everyone has to run for cover.  The part that got me was the ending, the one worker had a family with a few kids and his kids were playing hide and seek when the melt down occurred.  His youngest daughter hid in the trashcan and the mother couldn't find her in time.  I remember the ending of the father coming home and going to the trash can because he knew that was were she always hid and pulling her out now dead!  That last scene has stayed with me all these years and haunted me.

UNK SEZ: Absinthe, this does sound traumatic! I did a bit of research into the nuclear disaster movies of the eighties and I could not find any mention of this girl in a trash can. If the movie you're thinking of is anything like THE DAY AFTER, THREADS or TESTAMENT, you can be sure that you were not the only person left highly disturbed. I have a feeling somebody knows this one so you know the drill kids, any ideas go into the comments section or if need be, email us directly at kindertrauma@gmail.com!

UPDATE: Solved… the source of this trauma is the 1986 made for T.V. movie ACCEPTABLE RISKS (see the comments for more information). Special thanks to reader Grokenstein for saving the day!

Name That Trauma :: Reader T.W. on a Crucified Mom and Her Delusional Daughter

Posted on By aunt john

I have a trauma that no one has been able to help me identify.

My sister and I saw it on TV when we were 8-10 years old, so we assume it's a movie (or made-for-T.V. movie) from 1974-1976'ish.

I scared her with a line from this movie for years…"You killed me, April!"

The movie, if we remember correctly, involved a woman that a group of people are trying to drive insane.

The big scene was time and time again seeing her "dead" mother hanging on a crucifix yelling, "You killed me, April!"

It was very creepy and we'd LOVE to see it again!

Can you help?

UNK SEZ: Whatever this movie is I certainly want to see it! Anybody out there have any ideas? If so, leave your thoughts in the commments section or email us at kindertraum@gmail.com!