These two posters are different in 10 different ways. Can you find them all?
Author: unkle lancifer
Traumafessions :: Reader Mitch K. on Child's Play
As a child your life tends to revolve around one basic idea: "fun." Everyone spent their childhood with no other thought than how and when "fun" would be had. Nothing was a better catalyst for fun than toy, everyone had at least one, you shared them, you bragged about which toy you had, how many toys you had, how rare that toy was…You loved them. Of course you did. It's a TOY. Its main purpose is to instill joy into your life but what happens when that toy doesn't love you…?
What happened was: "Child's Play". If for no other reason than the fact that the sanctity of a child's toy was, in 88 terror drenched minutes, systematically pried and erased from you memory. Child's Play scarred me for life there is not just one all encompassing reason for that scar which still resides deep within my psyche, burning white hot every time I'm alone or within the vicinity of an inanimate doll toy. Brad Dourif's voice for Chucky was just about enough to induce a nice portion of urine in my undies. Maybe it's the fact that he sounded like how I imagine the guy from all the Truth ads did, right before he acquired that hole in his throat. Or maybe it was even the fact that despite the fact his soul was transferred into the vessel that was a child's toy he still, with gusto and apathy, managed to keep a fucked-up, distorted joy in his voice. Whatever the case, it was the perfect way to kick start my fear.
As if Brad Dourif's voice acting wasn't more than enough for my adolescent mind to take, next was the rest of the movie. Eerie music, jump scares, and "run-for-your-life-even-though-it-doesn't- matter-because-that-doll-used-to-be-an-accomplished-killer" suspense. Chucky's implied "innocent child doll look" was, in fact, not freaking innocent at all. The stubby little fingers, overly colorful attire, OH AND THE FACT THAT CHUCKY HAD CRAZY FUCKED UP RED HAIR AND FRECKLES. In my defense I am in no way an advocate for ginger fear mongering but nothing you can say will convince me that it's not creepy. Something about the look of someone with ginger qualities just doesn't sit well with me. Something in me says: "That just isn't right. He doesn't like it and neither do we."
*As a side note I'm aware that stubby little fingers don't tend to instill fear. That may be an isolated incident.
The end all be all of this breaks down to the corruption of innocence, something even my childhood mind was able to grasp. To this very day I refuse to sleep in a room with inanimate dolls. Even before Child's Play they were frightening enough; every second around one was another second for the doll to come to life. Then it did. In my living room at age 8 and I've never been the same since.
UNK SEZ: Thanks for the traumafession Mitch! I don't mean to ambush you but as a ginger myself, I must disagree with one thing that you said. I have a good sense of humor about ginger jokes and partake in them myself sometimes and I have no problem with folks finding me creepy (I am) or even suggesting I have no soul (I own several) but whatever voice in you is saying "he doesn't like it and neither do we" is at least half incorrect. Speaking for myself, I can tell you that I do like having red hair. When I was a kid I thought I didn't but as I grew older, I realized that it was actually other people's reactions to it that I didn't care for. No harm, no foul, I still enjoyed your traumafession, I just thought you should know that not everybody who looks different or falls into a minority is wishing they didn't. Personally, I've seen what belonging to the majority can do to a person and it's not much to envy. On the other hand, I will give you this- Chucky with any other hair color? It just wouldn't work.
Name That Trauma:: Reader Kirby R. on a Creepy Yarn Collection
Hello! I just absolutely love your site and I've been thinking for a while now about asking for your help – you've been so helpful to so many people, maybe you can help me too! I'm trying to find out anything I can about this collection of kids horror stories that was published sometime in the early 90s or later 80s – I've been looking for it for so long unsuccessfully that I'm beginning to think I may have hallucinated its existence. Anyway, I had the book in elementary school and I believe it was written by one author, it had illustrations and a featured a few different tales but I can only remember two with any clarity.
One involves a little girl who falls asleep on a city bus and upon waking gets off at the wrong stop. Now lost in an unfamiliar part of the city, she finds this ball – of twine or yarn or something like that – and she begins to unravel it as she walks. As she's unwinding it she comes upon several scraps of paper with warnings written on them that say things like "Stop!" and "Don't Go Any Further!" When she finally does get the whole thing completely unwound there is an eyeball at the center of it and it is at this point that a homeless woman appears and comes rushing at her, yelling, "Can't you read?!" And the homeless woman is, of course, missing an eye.
The other story I remember involved a family that has just moved into a new house and one by one the family members disappear into the basement and do not return. Finally only the frightened son remains and he too ventures down and encounters a monster. But it is a friendly monster who has a cake and wants to welcome the family to the house, and everyone is alive and unharmed. If anyone could help me out with any information at all about this I would be so monumentally grateful. Thanks for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it!
Streaming Alert :: The Pact (2012)
Remember when I was much better at alerting you to worthwhile movies on Netflix Streaming? I still watch movies on there all the time but somehow instead of writing about them, I end up shrugging my shoulders and taking a nap instead. What is there to say? People will either like stuff or they won't and I've been having extremely entertaining dark dreams lately that trump my ability to care either way. Luckily there is a cure for this particular type of writer's block and it's called a good movie. THE PACT (2012) snapped me out of my apathetic haze and I'm now going to enjoy giving you a short list of spoiler free reasons you should check it out.
1. THE CAST. In THE PACT, most of our time is satisfyingly spent with Annie, a young woman who returns home after her abusive mother's death and is confronted by malignant forces. She is played by CAITY LOTZ and, by my estimation, LOTZ kind of rules. She reminds me of MELISSA GEORGE and AMY STEEL combined with a little GILLIAN ANDERSON meets JENNIFER RUBIN thrown in and if that weren't awesome enough, she rides a motorcycle. LOTZ is a real find, striking a perfect balance between ornery and sympathetic. Another stand out is HALEY HUDSON who shows up as creepy psychic Stevie, emaciated and sunken-eyed, you can't tell at any given moment if she's going to break down in tears or explode into flames. I was also really happy to see good ol' CASPER VAN DIEN of STARSHIP TROOPERS and SLEEPY HOLLOW fame working against his human action figure looks by playing a weathered, been-around-the block cop and an unrecognizable AGNES BRUCKNER (THE WOODS) as Annie's ill-fated sister. MARK STEGER deserves high praise to for a ghoulishly graceful physical performance but I can't get into that any further without ruining things.
2. THE LOOK. THE PACT is beautifully shot. There's an unnerving meticulousness and I just happen to be a sucker for psychotic wallpaper and a limited beige and gray palate. Delicate touches are everywhere, meaning that repeat viewings promise to bring things to the forefront that I may have missed the first time and Christmas decorations loiter in the background, meaning I can happily throw this baby onto my perennial holiday viewing pile. Everything seems to have its own peculiar place and there is such a somber softness that when horrific images finally do appear, they are all the more jarring.
3. THE SCARES. I don't mind telling you that this movie fucking scared me. I can nick-pick a few story elements that didn't quit gel for me, but who the hell cares when THE PACT so successfully delivered for me on the fright-front? There's a wondrous bit that takes place in a motel where I thought maybe I was seeing something in the background and then it was suddenly made shockingly clear. It's a brilliantly sly thing and yes, I yelped. Actually, several scenes made me their bitch, but what really impressed me was the lingering creeps I was left stewing in. This is one of those great supernatural flicks that alters the way you observe things while you're watching it. Every shadow in my house was a little bit darker by the time it was done. If you enjoyed INSIDIOUS and/or LAKE MUNGO, you are probably the prime audience for THE PACT; it's a haunted house flick that genuinely feels haunted. Will it scare you as much as it scared me? I hope so but if not, tough luck! I've got my own bones to chill, and my own bad dreams to feed and this sneaky doozy about skeletons in the closet and one very gnarled family tree, snuck up behind yours truly pitch-perfectly.
It's a Horror to know You:: Eric Weber of Yeti Hideout!
It's a Horror to Know You: Eric Weber of Yeti Hideout!
What is the first film that ever scared you?
That would have to be Flash Gordon (1980). There are so many images in the film that can upset a six-year old brain. Where do I start? You have ugly, bug-eyed lizard people, a terrifying brainwashing session, a woman melting into a puddle of black goo and a tree stump ritual where men are forced to stick their arms inside and hope to avoid being stung by the creature stirring inside. Those are only a few examples.
The worst moment is the demise of Klytus, Ming the Merciless' gold-masked henchman. Flash throws him onto a floor of knives, which results in a disgusting close-up of Klytus' mask with his eyes and tongue oozing out. I can recall seeing this image on the theater screen and throwing my hands to my face in total shock. That image has never left my mind and continued to haunt me for many years after…not unlike a similar movie-going experience I related HERE.
What is the last film that scared you?
Images (1972) – Though it isn't considered an official contribution to the genre, I think that this movie is the closest that director Robert Altman came to making a full-fledged horror film (with 3 Women from 1977 coming a close second). There is a pronounced feeling of true dread throughout the whole piece and the eerie, nerve-jangling and often experimental soundtrack by John Williams and Stomu Yamashta is unforgettable (I highly recommend seeking out the album for your collection).
It includes a great performance by Susannah York (which is alternately funny, sexy, insane, ugly and beautiful), a creepy and desolate Irish setting and some subtle, unsettling moments that will really stick with you. It would make a great double feature with Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971).
Name three horror movies that you believe are underrated.
Sole Survivor (1983) – I don't hear this film discussed very much. A woman survives a plane crash and finds herself being pursued by odd, silent strangers. Definitely influenced by Carnival of Souls. There are some scenes that I have never forgotten.
Sonny Boy (1989) – This one is really unique. Sort of a mix of Pink Flamingos and Unleashed, a bizarre family kidnap a baby and raise it as an animal (which they turn loose on people they don't like). Starring David Carradine in a female role (it's never discussed whether Pearl is transgendered or an authentic female) and an amazing cast of character actors, including Paul Smith (as Pearl's husband!), Brad Dourif, Sydney Lassick and many more.
Stage Fright (1987) – I had a lot of fun watching this. It's really mean-spirited and the gimmick of the killer wearing an owl mask is pretty memorable. I love the cat!
Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.
Mountaintop Motel Massacre (1986) – I'm not sure why I like this as much as I do, but I revisit it frequently and enjoy it each time. Sure, it's not great…and it's pretty boring, but there are some scenes in it that really make me laugh. My favorite part is when Evelyn unleashes a jar of cockroaches into a tenant's room and the guy doesn't even seem bothered by them.
Nail Gun Massacre (1985) – I was kind of mesmerized by this. The killer looks pretty great and there is a brief bit with a white trash mom and her baby sitting in a cardboard box that inspired me to do a painting!
National Lampoon's Class Reunion (1982) – Anyone under the age of thirty would probably consider this unwatchable, but this is a funny spoof of slasher movies with a great cast. The killer's costume is pretty incredible and Zane Buzby has the role of a lifetime as the demonically possessed Delores Salk. Anne Ramsey also has a great bit as the school cook who has a memorable showdown with the killer.
Send us to five places on the Internet!
gamebooks.org – An extensively researched website that is the ultimate guide for interactive fiction, i.e Choose Your Own Adventure. The site has a lot of great information and scans of all those great covers like The Cave of Time, The Mystery of Chimney Rock, etc.
edwardgoreyhouse.org – The official site for everything Edward Gorey. He is truly missed.
hillyblue.blogspot.com – My partner's blog which includes scans of vintage magazines, fun topics such as a countdown on the cutest guys from the Friday the 13th films and impressive, home-made video homages.
susantyrrell.com – The official website of my friend, actress Susan Tyrrell, who passed away in June of 2012. I corresponded with her for over ten years and I think about her everyday. An amazing and truly original person.
collectorsweekly.com – An amazing website that showcases unusual collections of antiques, oddities, etc. Runs the gamut from Mexican B-movie posters to the abandoned suitcases of insane asylum patients. A must.
Traumafession:: Lynette Fromme on the Butcher's Wife (Fruma Sarah)
I just want to know if I'm the only weirdo out there that was traumatized as a kinder by Tevye's dream of the butcher's wife (Fruma Sarah) in Fiddler on the Roof?
Backstory: Tevye has promised his daughter Tzeitel's hand in marriage to the local (rich) butcher. Since then Tzeitel has begged Tevye to let her marry her true love Motel instead. Tevye wants to oblige, but he must convince his wife first, so he tells her he has had this prophetic dream.
Some people were traumatized by flying monkeys. I was traumatized by the butcher's wife.
Thanks, Lynette Fromme
Barn of the Naked Funhouse
Name That Trauma:: Reader Amy on a Possible Donald Pleasence Appearance
Hey there,
I love your sight, I check it almost everyday to see what new trauma's have come up and since Rememberance day is coming up for me in Canada on november 11, I remember recalled a movie I've been trying to figure out for years. I was very young when I watched it, probably 7 or 8, I think it had Donald Pleasence in a small role but I'm not positive. I can only remember the ending. A girl was supposed to be tried for something, but the liberators were aproaching. I think I remember Donald pleasence saying something to the effect of "Maybe this will save the poor girl." But the girl is not given a trial and is executed. I remember being horrified as she was shot and collapsed in slow motion. She was allowed to write a letter to her family who came later for the trial only to be told she had been executed. I think two women came and were given her letter, it sounded like a poem I think the poem ended with "no not, me not I"
I'm pretty sure it was a true story from world war 2, I don't remember the look on the girls face as being one of pain or horror when shot, more of release, almost a smile and that disturbed my young mind as well, How could dying in such an unfair way make you smile. I was completely horrified and had nightmares about it for awhile after. Lol Now I can watch things like Texas Chainsaw no problem, I guess I've come a long way. If anyone can name that film I'd appreciate it.
Thanks Kindertrauma
I'm Stevie Wayne and I Approve this Message…
Ahoy maties! It's your nightlight Stevie Wayne here reminding you that today is Election Day, so make sure you get out and VOTE! It's not KAB practice to endorse any one candidate but how about doing your old pal Stevie a favor and voting for the person you truly believe is less likely to use a misleading fire as a beacon to lure a ship of unfortunate lepers to their watery death in order to plunder their gold? Trust me on this. It may not seem like a big deal right now but in my experience, future generations reap what their predecessors sow.
Like I said, I can't tell you who to- hold on! Wait! I see something on the horizon! Could it be…??? Ah, no, it's nothing. I thought I saw some fog out there! Come to think of it, there hasn't been much of that stuff around here lately. Antonio Bay is by no means perfect but I have to say it's been a lot less foggy the last, what… four years or so? I hardly remember what it's like to have my tape recorder scream about an albatross and explode into flames and this single mom likes it that way. Anyway, that's off the subject. Point is, get out there and do your part as a citizen!
In addition, councilwoman Kathy Williams has asked me to urge you to donate to the Sandy relief fund. She's been begging for relief from Sandy for years.
Name That Trauma:: Reader Charlotte on Disturbing Puppet Creatures
Hi Kindertrauma,
I am a massive fan of your website and was wondering if you or your readers could help me out. I'm looking for a film they used to show on the Disney Channel (I know, SCARY) around Halloween in the mid to late 90s and early 00s and nobody I know remembers the title. It was about a TV show presented by a Captain Birdseye lookalike and his puppets who were actually real disturbing creatures (one looked a bit like a prostitute and may have been called Esmeralda?) that was going to be shut down. There was also an evil woman that looked a lot like V's Jane Badler who wanted to take over the show/TV studio and she was followed by a goth henchman who kept saying "executive producer" in an eastern european accent. I think in the end the show was saved and the baddies defeated thanks to the help of some kids who loved the show. My friends and I thought it was called 'Little Monsters' but IMDB told us otherwise.
Anyway, the puppets as I remember them were terrifying! If anybody can shed a light on what the film was I would be hugely grateful as it would save me many more fruitless searches and sleepless nights.
Thanks!
Charlotte
